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  • Question: Do You Know How To Get A Second Date With A Woman? Answer: Ninety percent of the women I go out with on a first date, want to have a sexual relationship with me by the end of the date. So guys have asked me, "What is the biggest mistake guys make on the first date that prevents ever having a second date or developing a sexual relationship (rather than a friendship)?" Well there are several mistakes a guy can make. Let me summarize them here then go into more detail. MISTAKES ARE: 1)      Talking about yourself too much. Trying to be interesting instead of INTERESTED. 2)      NOT ASKING QUESTIONS AND NOT LISTENING ENOUGH. 3)      FOCUSING TOO MUCH ON SEX-- either overtly or by innuendo. 4)      NOT USING SUBTLETIES ENOUGH (What a woman understands). 5)      NOT DEVELOPING SEXUAL FLOW OR INTEREST. 6)      NOT CREATING FUTURE. (A relationship is ALL about FUTURE.) The first mistake that most guys make is that they go on the first date and talk all about themselves, sort of strut around telling the girl that he's got this car, and he's got this job and he talks and talks and talks, bragging about this and that, trying to impress the girl that he is a good catch. What a girl sees is a self-centered ego maniac that isn't going to be able to take care of her at all, because he is not interested in her and doesn't listen to what she has to say. Not a good relationship prospect. Another way of saying it is that guys try to be interesting. They figure they have to be interesting for a girl to be interested in them. Sorry guys, but it doesn't work that way. You have to be INTERESTED in the girl, not INTERESTING to get her attention. Did you ever see two interesting people on a date. It is hilarious!  They are both so busy trying to be interesting to the other that neither has time to be interested in the other. If you don't know what I am talking about, think what makes you feel better, a girl who is INTERESTED in you? or a girl who is telling you how cool she is, how hot she is, etc. and all kinds of other INTERESTING things? INTERESTING leads to a lot of rejection and "platonic" friendships by the way. Girls will be friends with a guy who is really interesting. Why? Girls like to be amused and entertained. Interesting men are sort of like children to them. A source of non-sexual amusement and pleasure. Then there are the guys who are SCARED S***less and don't know what to say. So they say all kinds of useless and banal and irrelevant stuff to again be INTERESTING to the girl. Then there are guys who dread silence. So whenever there is a silent moment they feel awkward and have to fill the silence with some noise, so they open their mouths and say something trite and banal again just to keep the conversation going and again to be INTERESTING to the girl. THEY AREN'T. You don't have to fill silence with verbal chatter. Maybe it is a good time for some non-verbal communication like a smile, or a light touch. 90% of the girls I have a first date with want to go out with me again and have a relationship with me. WHY, well the biggest factor is I am INTERESTED in getting to know them. So I never come scripted, I am always just there and I ask questions designed  to get to know the person in front of me. THE SECRET: Well, I just said part of it, so here is all of it, I AM INTERESTED. I ASK QUESTIONS and then I LISTEN TO THE ANSWERS. Based on the answer they give, I may ask another question or I might say something that I know they would be interested in knowing because of what they just said. MOST of the time I spend about 80% of my time on a date LISTENING. Girls like that. ANOTHER BIG MISTAKE GUYS MAKE that prevents a second date is putting too much conversation attention on sex, sexual topics, sexual innuendos, and her looks. ALL WOMEN THINK that ALL GUYS JUST WANT SEX. So basically, they are right and guys have to realize that girls have our number and are not impressed by it. GIRLS already KNOW you want sex. She wouldn't even be there on the first date, if she weren't vaguely OK with the concept of having sex with you. What she wants to know is: WHAT ELSE do you want? What ELSE do you like about her? What ELSE can you do for her? What ELSE do you have in common with her? How ELSE can you have fun together? So, LISTEN to what she talks about, because if you listen you will get clues. GIRLS communicate in SUBTLETIES and like to be communicated to with SUBTLETIES. As a rule I NEVER tell a good looking woman she is good looking until the 3rd or 4th date.  That is a subtle communication that tells her that I am not like all the other guys who kiss her behind. So, you see,  you don't have to tell a woman how pretty she is on a first date. (Especially if she is gorgeous, because she gets so much of this so often, it actually becomes a turn-off to her.) You can compliment her on her dress, or her shoes, or you can say she has a nice personality (find something non-sexual you like about her and compliment it) or you could say (but only once and non-repetitively) she has pretty eyes, or a cute nose, or a nice smile, or she has pretty hands. (Always pick a non-sexual part of the body to compliment) So if you don't talk about yourself and sex. What DO you talk about? Talk about whatever the girl wants to talk about. LISTEN, and base your conversation off of what she is interested in.  Ask questions about her . BUT you should have two goals for the night.. 1) DEVELOPING SEXUAL FLOW OR INTEREST. Now you don't want to TALK about SEXUAL stuff too much, but that does not mean you don't want to get the old sexual juices going. BUT you do that mostly non-verbally, (Unless she starts a sexual conversation with you.) Now some of the DATING GURUS have real good courses on how a man can be sexy and get a woman's attention sexually. (David DeAngelo's course comes to mind.) And this is an in depth topic that is much too deep for my article here. So let's just say it is done with posture, manners, attitude, movement, voice rhythms, and the occasional moving in close and the withdrawing, or light touch or holding of the hand momentarily. Verbally it is done with the right gradient of topic. If you do it right the woman will always give you a goodnight kiss as a way of further testing that sector out, and let you know by her non-verbal signals, whether you should continue or just let it go with a simple light kiss. It is better to develop it, make the woman want more, and walk away than to overreach and destroy everything else you have built up here. A simple hug, or a light kiss or the cheek or the mouth is what I do on 90% of my first dates that I am interested in. 2) CREATE FUTURE What is future? Well if you are going to have a relationship with someone, rather than just a one-date-goodbye. You have to have some future interaction. AND FUTURE IS NOT "Can we go out again sometime?" That is definitely NOT FUTURE. That is a plea! Begging! And this will definitely scare them away. (Watch "Blind Date" on TV some time.) Future is scheduling something that you both would be interested in doing for whatever reasons, sometime in the future. Something with value to both of you. YOU may want to have SEX with the girl right away in the future.. BUT SHE DOESN'T- not yet.. She wants to get to know you a little better. So FUTURE is a way that she can get to know you a little better, before deciding if she wants to have a sexual relationship with you or not. GIRLS LIKE THAT. And girls like guys who understand that. YOU SEE the girl wouldn't go out on the first date with you if there weren't some possibility that she could have sex with you. (BEING THERE is a subtle communication. She wouldn't be there if she wasn't somewhat interested.) So, unless you blow it, you will get sex eventually. HOWEVER, most guys DO blow it 9 out of 10 times instead of closing as I do 9 out of 10 times. So how to create FUTURE? Well on a date it is relatively easy. APPLY what I have said above. ASK QUESTIONS and LISTEN. She will tell you something that gives you a subtle opportunity to see her again, and it should be something she would be really interested in and it won't scare her off. EXAMPLE OF WHAT WORKS: While you are listening she talks about the math class she is taking in college she is having trouble with. You happen to be a math genius. You simply say, "Well I am really good at math. If you would like some help with your homework, let me know." Then shut up. If she is interested in you, she will take the bait and say, "Yeah, oh I would so appreciate that" or something of the sort. If you have totally blown it by now and she doesn't want your help despite her learning disability, she won't take the bait. THAT WON'T HAPPEN unless you violated something else I have talked about here, and you talked about yourself too much, tried to be interesting, didn't listen, talked about sex or how pretty she was too much. Another example is, while you are listening she says how she really likes to go dancing. So if you like dancing you say "Really? Me too. I love dancing, let's do that sometime." Or if you don't like to dance, don't lie. Say, "Really? Then maybe you could help me because I don't know a thing about dancing but I think it's time I learned. Do you think you could teach me a little sometime?" GET IT? Come up with something you guys could do in the future that she and you would really like to do, that's not a plea, "Can we go out again?" By the way FUTURE is the key to meeting girls on the street, in the store, etc. Lots of girls will give you their phone numbers but about 90% of the beautiful women I know say they would never have a relationship with someone they met that way. BUT if you can establish FUTURE right there on the street or on the first call you can destroy those odds. And REMEMBER FUTURE is NOT, "Can we go out sometime?" To a woman that just means you want sex, and you are asking for it before you have established any other value to her. You see, meeting girls who work in stores or restaurants is easier than stopping them on the street, because the situation already has future built in.. you know where they work, you can come back again and again, she can get to know you ..FUTURE you see. But, stopping a girl on the street and establishing FUTURE. Now that can be a challenge.. But, I've done it. Many times. You apply the same principles above. Don't talk about yourself. Be interested in her. Ask questions. Listen to the answers. When she says the opportune thing that you can tell has value to her then jump right in with some FUTURE. Mr. L. Rx.

    Question: Do You Know How To Get A Second Date With A Woman? Answer: Ninety percent of the women I go out with on a…

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  • Question: Is serial dating a no-no? Answer: When I wrote the eReport “How I Got 700 Dates in One Year” it caused a little controversy…

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  • Question: How do I meet, attract, and relate to women sexually? Answer: A lot of guys think that foreplay is having to kiss your girlfriend or wife before she lets you have intercourse. Well a lot of guys think they are great lovers, but a lot of women have other thoughts about that.... I have different thoughts about foreplay. Foreplay, what is that? Good question. Foreplay is whatever creates a little sex flow between you and your girl and holds it there in place so she and you can think about it and enjoy the build up and anticipation of what is eventually to come. Another way of saying it is that foreplay is what "gets you or your partner ready" for the sex act. Since guys are just about biologically ready for the sex act "all the time", guys seem to forget the value of foreplay, after all, it is something they have to do for someone else -- not themselves. Bad way of looking at it. Why? Foreplay is not just for established couples already having sex. Foreplay is what prepares a woman to have sex with you. Hence, any woman you would like to have sex with that you are NOT having sex with would require foreplay. So foreplay has a role in meeting women, attracting women, picking up women, dating women, having a relationship with women, and making love to women. Flirting is foreplay.... I got married at 22 to my first girlfriend, and though I had sex for 5 or 6 years before we got divorced, I never actually made love until after I broke up with and divorced my wife. Why? We were both pretty inexperienced. Looking back, we had plenty of sex, but hardly any foreplay. The first time I actually made love, I was seduced. And there was hours and hours of foreplay. So after getting divorced, I stood around bars and clubs nightly for a month or two. After a while I started learning a few things. Then I started having sex daily (one night standers) with different women. (This was the 70's -- free love -- pre-AIDS.) Man, did I get a lot of experience then. These woman taught me stuff. Stuff, I didn't know, but now do. One of the things I learned is that women like and need foreplay to enjoy sex. And apparently it made it a whole lot better for me too! A Woman's, unlike a man's , sexual organ takes a while to physically respond to sexual stimuli and urges. Men can be ready in a minute, women take a little longer. But mentally I think men and woman are more even. Foreplay can mentally prepare either sex in such a way as to make the love making experience a whole lot better. I feel that usually at least an hour of bedroom foreplay is a minimal amount of time to prepare myself and a woman both mentally and physically for the sex act. But foreplay can go on longer than that.... The best kind of foreplay is Romance....you know, shopping with your girl in the mall, holding hands as you walk, having a sexy conversation and flirtation at lunch. Little kisses and touches throughout the day. Getting so turned on that you both can't wait to go home. Foreplay can go on for hours and hours and hours. When you are in the bedroom, foreplay is kissing and kissing and kissing, touching, touching and touching. It can be role playing, talking about your fantasies, taking a bath or shower together, feeding each other, or watching sexy movies, or whatever other little sexy games you are into, if you are into that. So how do you know when it is the right time to end the foreplay and start in on the sex act itself? Well, when you are young and stupid, you don't think about anyone but yourself. You start kissing your girl and a minute later you have an erection. Two minutes later you have her clothes off and you are trying to stick it in. Why? Because your thought is "If I'm feeling it, she must be feeling it too. See she's kissing me passionately isn't she? She must be feeling it." But, when you try to put it in, it won't go, so she offers to get out the old lubricant. She does and 10 minutes later it is all over. "I didn't have an orgasm," she complains. "You want me to do something?" you ask, even though you are really no longer interested. "Never mind," she says. It is a shame how many women out there have never been made love to properly. It is amazing how many women think that lubricant is normal, have never had a vaginal orgasm, or have never experienced multiple orgasms. MEN, good sex for woman starts with FOREPLAY. Consider this your call to duty! So, here are some basic principles for guys in relationships (if you want to know how to use foreplay to meet and attract and pick up women, see some of my other articles): 1) Always devote at least an hour to foreplay when you are in the bedroom. And use romance as foreplay throughout the week, days, and hours leading up to the bedroom. Women like to talk. Talking (and you listening) can be a very sexy foreplay for a woman. 2) Never, never, never, try to have intercourse with a woman until her private parts are soaking wet with anticipation. If she is not wet, she is not ready. She needs more foreplay. (And actually even if she is soaking wet, she probably still wants more.) 3) Always, always, always make sure your girl has an orgasm before you do. Why? Because it is no fun having sex with someone who only takes care of themselves and then is too tired to do anything about you. If your girl has multiple orgasms then she might need to orgasm two, three or four times before you do. If you don't know what multiple orgasms are then try some more foreplay and look up "tantra technique" on the internet. Not all women have multiple orgasms, but if you do your part right, most are capable of it. Now these are generalizations, there are exceptions to the things I have written here. (For example, there is a small percentage of women who always need lubricant because of a medical condition.) But, if you know anything about my philosophy, from my other in depth writing, you know I am totally into situational technique. But the above is fairly consistent for about 80% of women I've experienced.

    Question: How do I meet, attract, and relate to women sexually? Answer: A lot of guys think that foreplay is having to kiss your girlfriend…

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  • Question: How do I Pick Up Women In Bars And Clubs? Answer: When I was a young and stupid, 25 or so, I worked the bar scene every day for six months straight. I developed a strategy very similar to the "Mystery" method, which was pretty much 100% effective with a certain type of girl (beautiful women who toyed with and teased men). But, there were other kinds of girls in the bar, and truth be told the kind of women that the "Mystery" type technique works on, didn't satisfy me emotionally or physically. Three of the groups I classified women into in those days were: "Love-Girls," "regular women," and "the beautiful teases." The beautiful Teases gave most guys the most problems, the regular women were the hardest, and the Love Girls were the easiest (if you had technique and some balls) and were the most satisfying emotionally and were the best lovers physically. These categories and techniques still are valid today and when you perfect them they work almost 100% of the time without fail. Let me give you three concrete examples of technique you can use to pick up women in clubs. (One in this article, and one more in part two "How To Meet Women In Bars and Clubs", and the third in part three "Do You Want To Know How To Attract Women In Bars and Clubs?") So, first of all, I developed these techniques by standing around and observing other people. I had just gotten divorced (from a wife who was also my first girl friend) and I was shy and didn't have much experience with women. I was scared to death of women and stood around for the first month after my new found freedom and did nothing but observe the men and women in the clubs. Love Girls: One of the things I observed early on was Love Girls. Love Girls were women who came into the bar usually late (about 11 or 12) and basically they were looking for sex. They were great looking, confident women. They always walked in alone (NOT with a girl friend) and they walked slowly and sexily through the club. They looked every man in their path directly in the eyes, but I observed the typical guy would get shy and embarrassed and would look away. He would then gulp down some alcohol and I could see him trying to build up his courage to go back at her. However, the Love Girls would move on and if no guy did the right thing she would walk through the club and then LEAVE. (She wanted sex and wasn't going to waste time with a bunch of losers. She would just move on to the next club.) Every once in awhile, however, I would notice some guy would walk up to one of these Love Girls as she walked buy and simply ask her to dance. "Would you like to dance." Nothing more and nothing less. I then noticed whenever this happened the "Love Girl" would always say "Yes" no matter what the guy looked like and then they would go out on the dance floor and dance for half and hour or so, then they would leave together. So after a few observations, I tried it. I walked right up to a Love Girl and said "Would you like to dance" she said "Yes" We danced for awhile, definitely in the sex grove, then I asked her if she wanted to go to my place. Again she said "yes." We went to my place and of course had sex. Not only did it work with the first "Love Girl", but it worked over and over again. All I had to do was SPOT a love girl-- by her characteristic walk, dress, attitude, confront, etc. then the rest was easy. Then I got even smarter when I spotted this band one day. There were a dozen or so Love Girls in the audience. But NOW they were REALLY looking for it because they all thought this band was real sexy. Well this time, I just turned to the girl in back of me who was real hot and sexy, and with out a word I just started kissing her (remember this was the 70's before AIDS. So, I wouldn't do and wouldn't suggest stuff like this now. I am just using it for illustration PURPOSES.) She kissed me back, and after a few moments of making out , without a word, I took her hand and we went out side to the parking lot, got in my car, and had sex right there, then came back into the club, when we were done. I don't know and never even asked her, her name. After that, I made a point of getting this band's schedule and started following them. Worked Like a charm. A number of years later I also found that if I went to the bars that had the male stripper shows for girls only, right after the show was over, there were always a bunch of Love Girls on the spot no fail. Well, these were the easy ones. NOTE: If you would like more in depth and organized information on how to meet, attract, and have a relationship with women consider the book How I Got 700 Dates In One Year, Dating To Relating – From A To Z, or any of the other books by Mr. L. Rx.

    Question: How do I Pick Up Women In Bars And Clubs? Answer: When I was a young and stupid, 25 or so, I worked the…

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  • A special instantly downloadable report to get you to JUMP START your love life. Don't sit around the house wondering when you will ever date again when within hours you can get started meeting and dating 100s of women in the coming year. Mr. L. Rx has done it and still does it, and he will show you HOW! In this concise, downloadable, easy to read and easy to implement report you will learn: -- TWO separate proven TECHNIQUES for generating 100's of dates a year -- TECHNIQUES that are FAST, and SIMPLE to learn, and that you can START implementing them IN A COUPLE OF HOURS from now. That's right in just a few hours from now you can be on your way to generating 100's of dates a year. It is that POWERFUL. So powerful, that I'LL guarantee it. If you try my techniques and they don't work for you. I'll give you your money back NO QUESTIONS ASKED -- TECHNIQUES that don't require you to have any understanding of women at all. You can be shy, UGLY, and a geek and they will work. IN FACT these TECHNIQUES will not only get you 100's of dates, but the sheer experience of going out on 100s of dates will give you a better understanding of women than anything you could ever read in a book--anything that I or any other GURU could ever say to you. -- This REPORT is GUARANTEED to change your love life. That is why I wrote it. There is NO reason for you guys to wait for the release of DATING TO RELATING the book for you guys to start benefitting from my knowledge.
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    A special instantly downloadable report to get you to JUMP START your love life. Don’t sit around the house wondering when you will ever date again when…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you talk to women in order to attract them? Answer: Now, I have a question for you. What do you mean by talk? Do you mean actual communication? Communication is talk that results in someone understanding what you are saying, from your point of view. But there is another type of talk. Talk aimed at producing a result. It is aimed at getting someone to do something or it is aimed at creating an effect on someone. We don’t really care if the person understands our viewpoint as long as what we said gets them to do or be or have whatever it is we want them to do or be or have. Any parent knows that if you tell a two year old “not” to do something, he will do it. So that is the type of talk we are referring to with this definition. It doesn’t require understanding. It is just a matter of what we say produces the desired effect on another. Casual talk on the other hand, doesn’t have much to do with understanding, or a particular desired effect. (Unless we say that the desired effect is a pleasant time while conversing with another.) Casual talk is just something to do to take up time; it can be interesting and entertaining even, but not much to do with understanding or a desired effect on another outside of a pleasant time conversing. Then there are those people who talk to achieve emotional release. They talk about something that is bothering them for a while and they feel better and get an emotional release. They again are not looking for any type of understanding, or to create a desired effect on another, or to have a pleasant time with another. They just want someone who will listen long enough so they can get an emotional release. So right there we have at least four different purposes to or types of “talk.” Now oddly enough, personality factors intersect with these various different types of talk, because some personalities specialize in one of the types of talk more than the others. We all have the friend who just talks and talks about their problem trying to achieve some emotional release. They don’t want your advice or attempts to solve their problem. They just need to talk. We all have the buddies that we can just shoot the breeze with. Nothing in particular to talk about. Just pleasant conversation. And we all have good and bad experiences with people who say things in order to get us to react in one way or another. Now here is where personality comes in again. Obviously if you were talking to a woman who was a personality type that specialized in emotional release – you would attract her by listening to her unburden herself and achieve emotional release. If you were talking to a personality type that just like to have a pleasant time – then chatting in a pleasant way about nothing in particular would score you big points. Just don’t bring that conversation into “unpleasant” realms and you will do just fine on “attraction”. Now if you are with the type of personality that needs to create effects on you or needs an effect created on herself, then let them do so or do so to them and you will do fine on the attraction vector. And if you are with the type of women who longs for understanding and being understood, then achieve understanding in your conversation and you will achieve attraction. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you talk to women in order to attract them? Answer: Now, I have a question for you. What do you mean…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, I saw a video in which a guy got a girl’s phone number in five minutes. But it is one of the guys you say are “ten percenters”. What do you mean by that? Answer: Without naming names, a lot of the men’s dating gurus just give you strategies that will work “ten percent” of the time. (And when I say “ten percent” I don’t mean that literally. It could be twenty percent or one percent or thirty percent. What I mean is they don’t get the eighty to ninety percent results that we do.) I saw a video the other day myself. In it a guy approached a woman, told her how he found her very attractive and asked for her phone number so they could talk some more. He was polite, friendly and he got it. Now, the problem with this video is you don’t know how many girls he had to approach to find one that this would work on and you don’t know what happened afterwards. There was even a major dating guru site that just came out with a book on how to approach women in the daytime, on the street, etc. I bought it and read it. It is the same thing as the video – memorized lines and strategies that won’t yield any better results than ten percent. I have friends who do this kind of stuff all the time for years. They are very skilled at being friendly and all and getting phone numbers. You would think they were successful, but the bottom line is, it is a numbers game for them. They approach ten women, say the same things and get one phone number. What you don’t see is that afterwards they only get perhaps just a third of the girls who will return their calls. And after that, only another one out of ten will go out with them. Then when they manage to get a date, only one out of ten will go on a second date with them. Now, as poor a system as this is, for a lonely guy who has nothing going on this is a godsend. If you just keep at it, the numbers are eventually in your favor and you will get dates and perhaps even a girlfriend sooner or later. At Dating To Relating, we don’t use number games. We teach guys how to communicate and how to recognize differences in personalities. We teach guys how to be situational. We teach guys how to be successful being themselves, not robots. Guys trained by us do not have to use memorized lines. They can think on their feet and come up with situationally appropriate conversation. Guys that we train can approach ten women and get eight phone numbers. They can expect eight out of ten of those women to respond to their phone call when they make it. And they can expect eight out of ten of those women to go on dates with them and they can expect eight out of ten of those first dates to go on a second, third, fourth date with them. Anybody can come up with some smooth memorized talk to get a phone number or date, but turning those situations into relationships takes a little more than memorized lines. That is what we teach you and that is why we call it DATING to RELATING. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, I saw a video in which a guy got a girl’s phone number in five minutes. But it is one of the…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, this girl I know at work is flirting with me, but she is dating someone else. What do I do? Answer: This is a good question. There are a number of reasons that a woman might flirt with you while dating someone else. Not all women would do this, but certain personality types will. Some women flirt with all men. They basically have a need to feel that they are attractive. This need is more important than their existing relationship. They don’t do anything other than flirt so they do not feel like they are cheating. By flirting with men and getting a flirt back they feel attractive. So in the end it is all about them feeling good about themselves and not about you. They will never go to the next stage with you. Watch the woman and see if she is flirting with a bunch of men or just you. Some women flirt with men in front of other women as a sort of competitive thing. Again it is not about you and it is not a flirt that is going to go anywhere. It is simply a flirt that is done in front of other women to show them that they are attractive and can get men or perhaps even to show the other women that they are more attractive than them. So if this behavior always takes place in front of other women, be a little suspicious of the intent. Then there are promiscuous women who will cheat on their boyfriends. This type of flirt is usually done discreetly – not in front of others. She does not want to get caught so she will not be flirting with all men or flirting in front of her girlfriends (well maybe she might do this if she can trust her girlfriends). But get the picture? Is she doing this discreetly or on the sly? If this is the kind of flirting she is doing then maybe she is looking for an affair. Keep in mind, however, that a woman who cheats on her boyfriend will cheat on you. So don’t be tempted into thinking she is going to leave her boyfriend for you or that she would make a good girlfriend no matter the sad story she gives you about her boyfriend. Just remember that if she cheats on him, she is a cheater. She will cheat on you. There is another possibility that she is just dating, and that the boyfriend is not really considered a boyfriend by her. She might just be dating a bunch of guys trying to see who she likes. The guy she is with might even be an arrangement type of boyfriend – someone she has relations with until she finds someone she likes. If she flirts with you, and she is rather open about it, and she is not flirting with all the guys or in front of all her girlfriends, then this might be the case. If that is so, ask her about it. Say, “Why are you flirting with me, don’t you have a boyfriend?” See what her answer is. It might be, “Well he is not really my boyfriend, he’s just a friend.” Another possibility is that she has decided to break up with him, but she might be the kind of personality that has to line up another guy before she can break up with the first one. Hence the flirting is directed at you, not others as above, and you should ask her about it just as above. This one might say something like, “Well, it is just not working out, I need to move on.” It is one thing to test and look for a new boyfriend by a little flirting. It is another thing to cheat on a guy before you have broken it off. So stay clear of the girls who want to cheat. They will end up doing the same thing to you. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, this girl I know at work is flirting with me, but she is dating someone else. What do I do? Answer: This is…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am attracted to this girl at the campus store. She is really hot. But she is really cold to me. I don’t think she has a boyfriend, but whenever I say, “Hi,” with a big smile, it doesn’t work. She just gives me a cold stare and says, “How can I help you?” What do I do? Answer: Well, if you have been following my writing, you would know that my recurring theme is that people have different personalities and different personalities require different approaches. A “Hi” with a smile might work on most people but it won’t work on all personalities. When I was a young man I did door to door sales. “Hi” with a big smile and a funny joke is how I opened most conversations door to door. It worked like a charm in middle class neighborhoods. One day, however, they dropped me in an upper middle class neighborhood. And I was shocked. My “Hi” with a big smile got me a lot of “fear” reactions with doors slammed quickly in my face. These were upper middle class very-good-looking women that were doing the door-slamming fear-reaction. I was a skilled salesman by this time however as I had started door to door sales at eleven years old. I learned quickly to “mimic” people when I didn’t have the right presentation or my presentation or personality wasn’t doing well. So I quickly changed my strategy with these upper middle class “hot” housewives and I mimicked their style. Instead of a “Hi” and a smile, I said “Hi” and told them the same joke but in a very “dry” deadpan manner with absolutely no smile or expression at all. Instead of slamming the door in my face, they all laughed at my joke, opened the door and invited me in. You see, to some personalities, and in some environments, a “smiling face” is not to be trusted. I have even used the same strategy when approaching women in stores or on the street, such as in your situation. For example, there was this woman who was really hot ( like a 9.5/10) that worked at a Louis Vuitton store in the mall. I went by and targeted her for a slow multiple-come-back approach. I initially approached her with a smile and a “Hi” and friendly conversation (which works on most mall store employees). She talked to me but was very cold and not friendly at all. After about three times, I realized she was not the right personality type for that approach and I changed to my deadpan “humor’ with no smile. I caught her out in front of a “fast food” place eating a cheap burrito or something and said in my best deadpan voice, with no smile and an extremely deadpan expression, “So that’s how you spend your time, huh, eating cheap burritos.” She laughed and laughed and laughed. And the next time I walked into her store she was all over me with conversation. She would practically tell me her life story when I would go into the store. Best of all, she asked me out, after a couple of more visits. She also changed her attitude. I didn’t have to keep up the deadpan stuff. I was able to go back to being cheerful with a smile. But not all personalities are like that. Some women you have to keep up the deadpan routine forever. (Like the upper middle class housewives, for instance.) In this case, however, she was one of those really hot women who just didn’t trust “smiling” men who approach them. So she had her defenses up but this wasn’t really her personality. Once I got past that point with the deadpan routine, I could put the smile back on and she could be herself. Like I said, everyone is different. The way you figure it out is with a lot of experience and a lot of keen observation. And if you are short on experience and observation, then get yourself a copy of “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am attracted to this girl at the campus store. She is really hot. But she is really cold to me. I…

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  • BOOK OUTLINE OF CONTENTS Introduction - 5 Foreword - 8 1) DATING - How dating Guru's strategies go wrong. - 9 2) Different men like different women. Different women require different strategies. - 10 a) My Credentials - 12 b) Relationships - The problem with Dating Gurus - 16 c) Examples of strategies and how different personalities can require completely opposite strategies - 20 3) Two basic problems -  25 a) What guys do wrong - 25 b) What people do wrong - 31 c) Shortcut Personality Theory - "Feet Angles" and Personality Types - 32 4) The Basic Solution - OBSERVATION - How to Develop strategies - 41 a) Perception channels - 41 b) Motion Toward - Motion away - 46  i) Purposes in observing Motion - 48 ii) Scale of Sexual Motion - 51 iii) Adjusting as you interact - 51 EXAMPLE 1- 52 iv) Set Patterns of Motion - 54 EXAMPLE 2 - 57 c) Gradients - 62 5) Objectives - 65 a) Get Experience - Multiple or "Serial" dating - 65 b) Sane Dating principles build sane Relationships - 67 c) Sane Dating principles can be applied to existing Relationships - 73 d) Prospecting and Qualifying- is she the girl you are looking for - 78 6) Turning "meeting" into dating relationships. - 82 a)      Creating "Future" - 82 b)      Meeting women walking down the street.- 87 c)   Meeting Women In Stores, Restaurants, Malls, etc.- 92 d)   Meeting Women Who Work In Malls, Restaurants, Stores, etc. - 97 e)      How and Where to meet women. - 100 7) Turning Dating into Relationships - 103 a) How to get a second date. - 103 b) How To Turn The second, Third and Fourth dates into a Girlfriend - 107 8) Relationships - The Different Types of Sexual Relationships 112 9) How to Create a Better Relationship - 118 a) How To Manage "Creating A Better Relationship" -123 b) Creating A Relationship - The different Types of Create and Gradients -128 c) Your Love Interest as Your Teammate - 137 10) Seduction - 142 a) The Art of Seduction - A Classic Example - 142 b) Seduction - Short and Long Term Techniques - 145 c) Seduction Qualities On A First Meeting or Date - 151 11) Alternative Relationships -- Lovers, Multiple Lovers and Arrangements - 154 12) How To Make Love To A Woman - 163 a) Foreplay - 163 b) How To Get Your Wife or Girlfriend To Want More Sex - 166 c) Male Dysfunction and Relationships - 172 d) Sexual Technique - How to make love to a woman - 175 SUMMARY - 178 APPENDIX - 179
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  • when I was a young man, I worked the bar scene every day for six months straight. I made lots of observations for months. This eventually led to my being very successful picking up women in clubs. One observation I made over the course of time were the beautiful women, who purposely teased men. Let's call them The Teases. They flirted with you, but when you went over to hit on them, they would eventually go cold, after a while they would totally ignore you. This tease left you totally confused, after all, how many women flirt with you, hit up on you? She had to like you, right? Well, these girls always had a cadre of frustrated men following them wherever they went, kissing their butts and confused. I began to notice that the only guys who ever left with these teases, or ended up dating them, were the guys who totally ignored them, who seemed like they could care less. Then one day I just got it. It came to me in a brainstorm. I realized that you had to ignore a tease, get her to hit on you and keep her hitting on you all the way into bed by continuing to ignore her. But the question was: How do you communicate to someone you are ignoring? Well, the answer ended up in a technique similar to what "Mystery" uses these days. I would simply walk over to one of theses hot teases, position myself right next to her (but not looking at her--sort of shoulder to shoulder--close enough that she could hear me but not close enough that she would take my position as showing any interest in her) and then I would wait for another hot girl to walk by or close. As soon as one did, I would shake my head as if to myself, and mutter some comment such as "Is she hot or what?" or "Wow." No matter what I said it was always a comment on how hot the girl who walked by was. I would always end the comment by looking at the tease, as if she were just some stranger, who I was randomly expressing my delight in "the girl who just walked by" to. WITHOUT FAIL, the tease would very shortly always then tell me in one way or another that guys do to her what I just did to this other girl ALL the time. (NOW HERE IS THE CLOSE) I would look at her like she was a little nuts, like she wasn't hot at all, but would say very politely (as if feigning politeness) "Really?" or some such comment to get her to talk some more. Of course they would always go on and on at this point trying to convince me how hot they were, and after 15-30 minutes or so, I would say something like, "Look, maybe you ARE a good looking women, it's just perhaps hard for me to see it because you are definitely NOT my type." (I would then describe my type to be the opposite of whatever they were. If they were blonde, I liked brunettes. If they had large breast, I liked little breasts, etc.) Then I would say, "But did you ever consider that perhaps men like you NOT for the way you look, but for your personality? Because after listening to you here for a while, I THINK you have a great personality and maybe that is why men like you." After those words, the Tease was mine. They would invariably say, "Oh my god, I have never met a guy like you in my life. I can't believe you. I have never had a guy say he likes my personality. (Rightfully so, because they were usually perceived by men as cold bitches.) You are so interesting..." From that point, the girl would invite me out, and generally increase the gradient of flirting and teasing to get a reaction out of me as she typically got from all those other men, and when she didn't get the reaction, she would up the ante of flirting, until she eventually, jumped me (had sex with me) to get a reaction. (It usually took 3 dates.) But, of course, I knew from months of observation, that if I ever admitted I was attracted to her, if, I ever took the lead and hit on her, or let her know that I was really attracted to her and was lying, it would be over. So, I never did. Instead, I only complimented her personality, and if I said anything about her physically, I always did it as if I was being polite and trying not to hurt her feelings. Or, I would say something that gave her a sense of progress (the idea that they were winning me over) but never a full compliment--something like "You are still not my type, but you are looking more attractive to me than when I first met you. Who knows, maybe I COULD see you as totally beautiful some day." Eventually, as I said, they would tease me all the way into bed. And even after sex, when they asked me "Was it good?" I would simply respond, "It was Ok...but that is not important, what is important is that you are a great person, and I really like you." (Now this was never hard to do, because Teases without variation, were the worst lovers as a group that I ever met.) After a while I got to understand what was really going on with these girls and why they did what they did. They were all beautiful girls who were made to feel unconfident as children. They were all told they were ugly and such things, when they in fact weren't. So they grew up with low self esteem and were actually very afraid of men. Somewhere along the line, however, they learned that men reacted well to them and that they could get men to do anything they wanted by flirting with them. In their minds, they still did not think men did this because they were good looking, they just thought men did it because men were horny and easy to manipulate. So, when they flirt with a man, and the man reaches and aggresses back, these girls basically get scared and run away. They are working on their self confidence, however, that is why they are in the bar every day or every weekend. And when I didn't aggress against them sexually, but told them I liked them, I gave them a safe zone. They weren't afraid of me. So they raised the bar and tried to "win me over" so to speak. Winning me over, made them feel better about themselves. And of course got me sex. This strategy worked 100% of the time.

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do I meet women in bars and clubs? Answer: When I was a young man, I worked the bar scene…

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  • Question: How do I attract women in bars and clubs? As I've said before, when I was a young , I worked the bar scene every day for six months straight. I made lots of observations for months. This eventually led to my being very successful picking up women in clubs. One of those observations was about those regular girls who visited the club. I use to call them GRADIENT GIRLS. I called them that because after a lot of observations I noticed there was a gradient scale of sexual reach or interest. Here it is: First there is negative sexual talk --This is talking about not having sex, or not wanting to have sex, or talking about someone else who is into sex as creepy, disgusting, or characterizing them in some other negative way, etc. This is the lowest form of sexual interest someone can show you. Because they still ARE talking about sex. And they are talking about it with YOU. People who really aren't interested in sex or you don't bring it up at all, and really don't get "into it" if you bring it up. I learned about this one day, when I was driving a fellow student home from college. She invited me up to her apartment, but quickly informed me that I couldn't have sex with her. Since, I had shown her no sexual interest, and since I really wasn't interested, I found this rather odd. A few weeks later she seduced me. She got me to have sex with her when I didn't want to and wasn't really attracted to her. This is when I put it all together. She was attracted to me from the very beginning. And her negative comment about "not having sex" was the level at which she began her sexual flirting. Then positive sexual talk. then Eye Contact, then slight brief touching, then extended touching, then kissing, petting, heavy petting, intercourse. Now most people think sexual interest starts with positive sexual talk, but it doesn't. And the funny thing about this gradient scale is that you have to match the level the other person is at or you can lose a prospect very quickly. So if a girl is into flirting at "negative sexual talk" and you try to come on to her with "positive sexual talk" you will lose her. Now most of your regular girls hanging out in clubs, whether with or without girlfriends, have a negative view towards guys. They think guys who are there just want sex, etc. And they are probably right. So the way I would come on to a regular girl in a club, was simple. I would stand next to her (similar to the Tease Girl above) and wait for some guy to hit on some girls in a stupid way that confirms what most girls thinks about guys. I would then make a comment about how stupid that was, etc. sort of out loud to myself or whomever was around (sort of like I did with the Tease Girl) ending by looking at her in disbelief. She would then chime in very quickly about how stupid it was, and from there I would lead the conversation into a negative "sex talk" about how I hated clubs, hated all the games and meat market stuff that goes on, etc. This would usually go on for about 15-30 minutes and then she would invariably say the magic words: "But you are different" to which I would reply, "Yeah, you are different too." From there it could go in many directions depending on the girls. We might dance, or continue in an engaging conversation, but now the conversation was into positive sexual talk, from there we would start with the little touches, etc. and eventually it would lead to making out, petting, heavy petting, kissing, etc. Now none of these techniques I've discussed in this three part series of articles, are DeAngelo's "Cocky and Funny" or any such, and by the way, Cocky and Funny does work on a small band of girls in the club (and in life) too. I would label them the Boredom girls. But here is the principal behind Cocky and Funny and the Love Girl, Tease Girl and Regular Girl techniques. The principal is to be "Interesting and Unique." You see the guy who has the balls to walk up to and confront the horny "Love Girl" is interesting and unique to her because most guys are too scared to do it. But he is definitely Not Cocky and Funny. He only has to open his mouth and confidently ask her to dance. The guy who tells the "Tease Girl" she's not that hot, but has a good personality is interesting and unique to her, because ALL guys reach at these girls and tell them how beautiful they are. The guy who can dish out negative sex talk to a "Regular Girl" is interesting and unique to her because she never finds guys like this in the club. And of course the Boredom Girls, who get guy after guy after guy hitting on them and kissing their butt find "Cocky and Funny" totally interesting and Unique. Boredom girls are a kind of a random, casual and pointless-talk band of girl, and Cocky and Funny is random and pointless talk. The other techniques are more directed. There are other types of girls too, and combination of types. I go over those in some of my other writings and articles. Some techniques are Quick and Easy and some techniques are pure seduction and can take a very long time. But none-the-less they are still pickup techniques. Mr. L. Rx NOTE: If you would like more in depth and organized information on how to meet, attract, and have a relationship with women consider the book How I Got 700 Dates In One Year, Dating To Relating – From A To Z, or any of the other books by Mr. L. Rx.

    Question: How do I attract women in bars and clubs? Answer: As I’ve said before, when I was a young , I worked the bar…

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  • Question: How do I create a better relationship? Answer: So you want a good relationship, huh? You want your girl to like sex more? You want her to understand you better? Or perhaps one of the 1000 other little items that bug guys in relationships? Well, if you want a better relationship - here is the first rule. Relationships are created and take continual active work to improve them. A relationship either gets better or worse, there is no static state in relationships - they either get better or worse. If you create them, they get better. If you stop creating them, they get worse. It's that simple. And it applies to ALL relationships- work, girlfriend, kids, buddies. Now my observation is that MOST women already know this and MOST men either DON'T know it, or if they do, they don't practice it. So then exactly WHAT are we talking about when we talk about RELATIONSHIPS and CREATE? Well, first of all, let's make a distinction between casual social relationships and working productive relationships. Webster tells us that a relationship is: The state of being mutually or reciprocally interested (as in social or commercial matters). However, it is not a very good definition, because you still have a relationship with that "boss" at work who you don't like and are definitely NOT interested in and they are not interested in you, or that teacher at school who is NOT interested in you in the least or you him. "A relationship exists with anyone that you co-act with towards a specific goal." If that "goal" is social, then of course anyone you hang with to have fun or entertainment or whatever with- you are relating to. If that "goal" is business, then anyone you are co-acting with to get a paycheck or to make money, or whatever you do, is in a relationship with you. And of course that "teacher" you aren't the least bit interested in and who likewise is not interested in you is co-acting with you towards giving you a grade for the course - which is both your purpose and his. So this is a little better working definition for our purposes. If you are not working with someone towards some purpose - be it social (talking, having fun),  familial (co-mingling, finances, sexual fun, raising children) or business (getting paid for the work you do or products or services that you produce) you are NOT in a relationship with that person. So when you first meet a girl and are attracted to her, you are trying to establish a relationship, whether it is just for a fling (sexual fun), ongoing  friendship only (companionship and sexual fun) or something more serious - like all of the above plus living together and sharing finances and raising children together. You are hoping she will be attracted to you too, and then that will lead to hanging out fun and in most cases what you really want and need from a woman - sexual fun. And if this happens, you have a sexual relationship. So what is CREATING a relationship? CREATING a relationship is doing those things which increase attraction (both physical and mental/spiritual), communication, understanding, mutual survival, agreements between you, and the number and or quality of the products you produce together. When you are NOT creating a relationship the attraction decreases (physical and/or mental/spiritual), the communication worsens, the understanding and mutual survival lessens, the agreements between you lessen and/or are broken, and the number and quality of products you produce together go down. SO Let's translate this into actions you can do. Well, you probably already know how to CREATE a relationship. Most guys do it when they are romancing the girl to get her. They bring her flowers, open the door for her, assure her she looks nice (when she is worried about it), listen to her gossip even though it bores them out of their mind. They go to the mall with her when they really hate shopping. They go to chick movies with her now and again. GET IT GUYS - you know what I am talking about - CREATING is ALL those things you do to GET THE GIRL! (And I don't just mean traditional things like above. If you do non-traditional things to attract a women, like I outline in "How To Meet Women In Bars and Clubs"  http://datingtorelating.com/meet_women_bars_and_clubs___article , then those are the things you must do to keep attracting her. ) Now the problem is most guys do all kinds of things they DON'T like just to get the girl, then after they get her and feel comfortable in their position - THEY STOP doing all those things that they don't like. PROBLEM IS GUYS, that is the death toll for the relationship. WHATEVER you did to GET THE GIRL you have to do MORE OF IT, more frequently, and in new and better ways to CREATE the relationship and KEEP her. So, if you went dancing with the girl once a week when you were courting her (and she loved it) continue to go dancing with her once a week when you are married, even when you have children - hire a babysitter. Romance your wife. But you may need to vary it - dance with her after a romantic dinner at home. Take her to new and exciting dance places. Take dance lessons with her. Get the idea. There are probably dozens of little things (or big things) like this you did to get her. CONTINUE to do them. Do them better. Find new ways of doing them. And find new ways to attract her. You are going to have to do this continuously, and if you want to keep her for the rest of your life, then you are going to have to do this for the rest of your life. WOMEN are easy to attract and seduce with CREATE. But if you chose to attract and seduce a women with create, you have to continue to seduce her with create as long as you want that relationship to continue. ATTRACTION is a physical energy flow. It is not something that someone has forever - just because they were attracted to you on one or several occasions, or even long periods of time. ATTRACTION has to be continuously created. To put it simply, Whatever you did to ATTRACT the girl in the first place (including seemingly negative things like being aloof and "hard to get" if that is what you did), you have to continue to do that to CREATE a relationship. If you continuously attract the girl you are in a relationship with, the relationship will grow, get closer, be more fun and more productive. And oh yeah, she'll want sex just as much as you do (if not more). Now this is a simple description of the process. This simple explanation will help some of you, but others will need a lot more details and examples to handle complex situations. There is a lot more I can tell you about this subject but it would take pages and pages and pages. In "Dating To Relating" the book I go into much more detail on "attraction" and "how to create attraction," "how to create a relationship," "romance," "seduction," and what to do if you are in a relationship with someone you didn't qualify properly and perhaps is the wrong person for you. I give specific examples and techniques.

    Question: How do I create a better relationship? Answer: So you want a good relationship, huh? You want your girl to like sex more? You…

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  • Now what do I mean by manage? Well Webster give us a workable definition "to exercise executive, administrative, and supervisory direction of" To put it in a way you might understand better. To mange something is to direct it so that you achieve your purpose. So if our purpose is to "Create a Better Relationship", how do we manage our activities so that we achieve our purpose. Well, the best way to mange anything and to control the direction towards a purpose is by a combination of observing the statistics of the activity and planning off of that. So the question is what is the most important statistic for a guy to watch and monitor with respect to relationships. WRITE THIS DOWN, because you are not going to get it from any of the other Dating Guru's. The statistic you want to monitor is MOTION. Specifically MOTION TOWARD and MOTION AWAY. You won't believe how important the observation of this statistic is until you start doing it. It will change your life. It is not only involved in men/women relationships, it is involved in any relationship you can think of (for example, I use it extensively in sales). Now, when it comes to women, you should be watching MOTION from day one. I discovered the importance of this when I was 25 and doing the bar scene nightly, I was very shy and just stood there for about 2 months looking at people and talking to no one. After a while, I began to watch the MOTION involved in interactions rather than the content (what people say) of interactions. That is when I became suddenly successful. I recommend that if you haven't already read my three articles on the bar scene that you do so now: Would You Like To Know How To Pick Up Women In Bars And Clubs? ( http://datingtorelating.com/pick_up_women_bars_and_clubs___article) How To Meet Women In Bars and Clubs. ( http://datingtorelating.com/meet_women_bars_and_clubs___article) Do You Want To Know How To Attract Women In Bars and Clubs? ( http://datingtorelating.com/attract_women_bars_and_clubs___article ) These are excellent studies in situational techniques derived from observing motion and I will refer to them below. Now what most guys do in the bar scene is some arbitrary motion pattern they learned from some GURU without observing the motion at hand, or they do their own arbitrary motion pattern. The arbitrary pattern will work a percentage of times, so most guys, if they hit up on enough girls with any kind of motion, will eventually find someone it works on. But what makes observational technique and strategies superior is that you are not doing some arbitrary. You are doing the exact thing that works and you win 100 percent of the time across ALL Motion patterns, and ALL personality types. There are only three basic motions a person can do with respect to you. 1) Move toward you, 2) move away from you, and 3) stay in the same place with respect to you (no motion). Now when I talk about motion here with respect to a man/woman relationship, I am talking about motion towards you in many ways, like: 1) physically (a woman moves closer to you, touches you, etc.) 2) mentally (agreement would be a motion toward, disagreement a motion away) 3) emotionally (liking you and feeling comfortable would be a motion toward and disliking you, feeling uncomfortable with you would be a motion away) 4) communicatively (wanting to talk to you would be a motion toward, not wanting to talk to you would be a motion away). Then there are different channels of communication. A girl could lean into you very sexily, touch you lightly, and tell you what a bastard prick you are. If you only pay attention to the content, you could be blown away. If you only pay attention to the touch, she could blow you away. But if you pay attention to the complex communications and all the motion vectors involved, you would know what to do. Now these three basic motions combined with different channels of communication can get very complex as not only are there different channels of communication but there are motions within motions. Now in my book "Dating to Relating" I teach you all about advanced and complex motions, but for the sake of this essay if you just start observing the basic motions you will be way ahead of most guys. So let's get back to relationships. If you are in a relationship, the girl is either moving TOWARD you - physically, emotionally, mentally, and communicatively,or she is staying in the same place with respect to you, or she is moving AWAY. THESE ARE YOUR STATISTICS that you use to mange your relationship. You watch and observe what is she doing and the direction of her motion. If she wants LESS sex, she is moving away. If she doesn't talk to you as much, she is moving away. If she is getting bored with you, when she use to be enthralled she is moving away. If she wants "to talk" about things (guys hate this) she is starting to move away, but she is simultaneously moving toward you (wanting to communicate about it.) Now what do you do about it? REAL SIMPLE - observe what makes her move toward you, CREATE more of that. Observe what makes her move away from you and STOP doing that. Now if you just do those two simple actions on a daily basis you can make any relationship better and continue to grow and you can repair a relationship that has gone astray. OBSERVATION, however, is not always as easy as it sounds. I have a friend who I have been telling all this stuff to for years, and he still hasn't developed the ability to observe. One night we went to a restaurant together, and I flirted with the waitress lightly. I said something like, "You have pretty eyes." As soon as I said that, she leaned back a little, away from me, and I knew immediately she probably had a boyfriend or something. Her motion was telling me I would have to approach her on a much lower gradient if I was interested in continuing. Well my friend didn't get it. He thought it was a great lead in for him to hit up on her and started saying all kinds of stuff to her. She began getting quite uncomfortable with us, and I finally had to kick my friend under the table to get him to stop. When she left, I asked him, "Didn't you see her lean away from me when I said that?" Well he admitted he did SEE it, but he didn't OBSERVE it or know what it meant. So he jumped in at the wrong gradient. I got him to stop and I made the girl relax when she came back by saying, "Don't take us seriously, we flirt with ALL the girls." She laughed and then totally relaxed with us. The point of this story being that some guys SEE motion, but DON'T observe it or interpret it correctly. If that is you, just KEEP practicing until you get it right. The only other thing you will have to take into account in all this, is your personal integrity. Sometime when you start to really observe people and seeing what makes them move toward you, or away from you, you get into a conflict of values, interests, opinions, etc. You may find yourself in a position that you don't want to do the things that work and make her move toward you, and she doesn't want to do the things that you would like to do to make her move toward you. When you find yourself in that position, you are perhaps in the wrong relationship for you and you guys should sit down and really discuss your values and where each of you want to go with your lives and your relationship to see if it is worth continuing. So now you have two very big basics: You have to continually create a relationship for it to continue to get better. And you have to observe if what you are creating is making the girl move towards you or away from you. Do only those things that make her move towards you. If you do this correctly your girl will fall deeper and deeper in love with you as time passes. Sex will get better and better, and you will fall deeper and deeper in love with her. (Provided you got the right girl to begin with!)

    Question: How do I manage a relationship? Answer: Well Webster gives us a workable definition: “to exercise executive, administrative, and supervisory direction of” To put…

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  • Question: Should I treat my love interest as a teammate? There are two distinct conditions we have to look at when discussing male/female relationships.  The first is a condition of  "opposition" or "opponents", where the love interest is an opponent. No matter where it is at, there is no agreement on the relationship and where it is going, and one person wants to take it to a different level or place than the other, who is usually just fine the way things are.   This automatically applies to most new relationships, and old relationships that are damaged or in trouble.   Now, why do I call it a condition of opposition or "opponents". Well, because someone is usually trying to get someone, or opposed to someone. You are trying to get the girl for a girlfriend, or you are trying to get her in bed for sex, and there is some opposition. There is not complete agreement even if it is just about timing or "when." Or she is trying to get you to marry her and you don't want to yet. You are happy being her boyfriend.   The second condition is when the love interests are "teammates." They are in agreement on their relationship and where they want it to go, etc. There is no opposition here.   This applies to most good relationships where people are co-operating and in agreement on the form of their relationship be it "friends with privileges," "girlfriend/boyfriend" or "husband/wife."   Now the truth of it is, most relationships are a combination of these conditions, perhaps mostly one or the other, but it is typical that we are in opposition about some things and in complete agreement and teammates about others.   In this essay I am going to discuss the second condition of "teammates" and the type of create one has to use in that condition in order to continue to create the relationship.   When you have a partner who is an active teammate, working for the same goal in the relationship that you are, you are in the best condition you could be in. If you don't mess it up or screw it up, your relationship should grow in the direction you want it to grow and be a healthy relationship for years and years, even a lifetime if that is desired. Screwing up a healthy relationship, if you are lucky enough to have one, is actually hard to do, but believe me there are some guys who do it.   What are the major mistakes the guys make to screw up a healthy relationship?   Well here are five of the most common basic mistakes.   1)      Cheating. 2)      Not continuing to treat her as the opponent and win her over. (Otherwise known as romance.) 3)      Not continually creating a common opponent to fight as teammates. 4)      Not continuing to monitor the goals and purposes of the team and make sure that they are still in unison. 5)      Not making sure she continues to do all of the above too.   1) Cheating - In most cases, as soon as you cheat, you become the enemy. You are no longer working as teammates for the same thing. You have a hidden agenda and you are not working for the best interest of the team.   (I say in most cases, because there are societies and couples who agree that cheating,or extra-marital sex, is okay in certain situations, and under prescribed conditions.)   Now my opinion on cheating is simple and it is based on practicality not morality issues. You shouldn't get married or in a serious relationship until you have the ability to commit to a monogamous relationship.   There are plenty of girls who are NOT ready to commit to a serious relationship. So if you are not ready it would be better to find someone else who is not ready and work out a relationship that involves non-monogamous sex together.   The point of all this is, if you are not ready for marriage or a committed relationship, don't get involved with someone who is, and don't pretend like you are - not even to (and especially not even to) yourself. You'll turn your teammate into an enemy overnight. Get my eReport on "How I Dated 700 Women in One Year" and work whatever it is remaining in your system that keeps you from being monogamous out.   With out being moralistic, breaking an agreement to be monogamous with your girl and cheating on her doesn't get you anywhere. If sex with multiple women is what you want, you can have more sex with more women without cheating on anyone by telling the truth. Cheating in a committed relationship is a false sense of accomplishment. It means you are unhappy and insecure and a whole bunch of other negative things. So, if you feel like cheating, there is something wrong.   And as soon as you get that feeling, you need to sit down with your mate, and talk things out. And if you can't resolve things so that you are back on the same team again then you are in the wrong relationship for you and you probably need to get out of that situation and date extensively until you work whatever sexual issues you have out of your system - so you can actually have a serious, monogamous relationship.   2) Now another way guys wreck a good teammate relationship and contribute to the girl cheating on them is to stop romancing the girl.   Remember this girl was at one time an opponent, someone you had to win over to your way of thinking, before she agreed to become your girlfriend or wife, etc. That's what all the flowers and candies, and door "holding" and chick flicks and "listening" was about - you were trying to win the game and "score" the girl.   So, you did. And now you think that game (you didn't really like it, did you?) is over and you don't have to do that anymore. Now that she is the girlfriend or wife, you don't have to play that "flowers" and "door opening" game anymore. Well, guess what guys?! You are wrong.   All those things you did to impress her and get her, worked. These were the things that created "attraction" towards you. Now that you have secured this agreement for her to be your girlfriend or wife and enter into this new game of  "teammates" it doesn't mean that the old game is over.    You see building or creating a relationship is sort of like building a house. You lay the foundation for a house then you build the first floor. When the first floor is complete you don't go and tear down the foundation. If you do, the first, second, third, etc. floors will all come tumbling down with it.   Same thing with a relationship. Whatever you did to get the girl, whatever you did to attract her in the beginning is your foundation. You can't go tearing it down the minute you get the first floor built and move in.   It simply won't work.   That means figuring out new things to do together, new ways to have fun, new sexual play so that it doesn't get boring. (Check out the Free Mini-Course on my site - "How to be a Great Lover.")   3) Now once you move from the "opponent" stage of a relationship where you are trying to WIN the girl over, you enter a stage where you are teammates mostly. (But remember, still keep those opponent things going to win the girl into continually being attracted to you)   In the "teammate " stage, you are in agreement. You are a couple and you are approaching the world together as a team. Now, depending on your type of relationship agreement, that can be anything from just creating mutual pleasure together (like sex, or hanging out) to combining your finances and taking on the world financially together to improve your mutual lot, to deciding to take on "having kids" and raising them to the standards that you both agree on.   Now the thing is as you start working together as a team and start "winning" you can't forget that the process or working together as a team is more important than the things you obtain as a team. Teamwork is like "glue" that holds you together.   Sometimes when a couple achieves some of the goals that are the objects of their teamwork, they forget to replace those goals with new ones. Sooner or later if you don't replace old goals with new ones you run out of things to work together on.   So often a couple gets engaged, gets married, has children, gets a nice house, gets a nice car and then stops setting goals and their teamwork disappears.   Sometimes it doesn't even go that far. Sometimes they both have a simple goal like moving in together. They do that and then stop creating team projects. Like the things that you did to attract her, working together to achieve goals and solve problems is the expanded foundation of a relationship. As long as you keep doing it and set new goals to accomplish you will continue to create a healthy satisfying relationship.   Goals don't always have to be mutual goals. Sometimes a couple helps each other on personal goals. They work together as a team to get her to lose 10 pounds. They work together as a team to get him a better job.   Doing that CREATES the relationship in a healthy manner. Telling your girl, "You'd better lose 10 pounds or I am out of here," doesn't. Telling the guy he'd better get a better job or you are gone doesn't create a relationship either. These kinds of attitudes make you "enemies" or "opponents" again.   Mutual goals are common "opponents" and make you teammates fighting against your obstacles to achieve your goals.   I can go on and on and on, on this topic,  but I think you get the point. CONTINUALLY setting goals and working on those goals as a team helps to CREATE a relationship. STOP doing this and the relationship will start falling apart.   4) Now to continually monitor these goals you set as a team, this means communication. You have to talk to your partner and continually monitor where they are at with respect to your mutual and their and your personal goals. People change and grow. You can't assume the girl you married 3 years ago is the same girl today. You can't assume the things that she considered important and wanted to work on with you 3 years ago, 1 year ago, even 6 months ago are still the goals she has today.   Communicate! Talk! Listen! You have to continually find out where you are at. If you keep communication in, then you won't have any surprise. If you assume she is the same (when she isn't) then you will be surprised one day when you exclaim, "I don't know who you are anymore," as she walks out the door or cheats on you.   5) Finally,  you have to get your girl  to do all of these things too. One person creating a relationship is better than none, but two people creating a relationship is a cinch for success.   The best time to talk about all this is early on in your relationship so you are both on the same page with create from the early days. But anytime is better than no time. It is never too late. Even if you aren't "newlyweds", talk now!   If you do all the above things, you and your partner just may have a chance to create a continually growing, healthy relationship.

    Question: Should I treat my love interest as a teammate? Answer: There are two distinct conditions we have to look at when discussing male/female relationships.  The…

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