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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am a recently divorced man, 42 years old. I was married to one woman for 15 years. How do I get back in the swing of things? I haven’t dated in a very long time. Answer: Good question. There are several things you can do to get back into the swing of things. And it starts with observation. Go somewhere where men and women are dating. Watch a few couples. See how they are acting. See how the men dress. Listen to the topics that are being talked about. Listen to whether the women are responding positively or negatively to the men they are with. Observe the women. See what the women you are attracted to respond to and don’t respond to. In the end, if you are a careful observer you can learn what women you are attracted to like and don’t like in men’s behavior. Make sure you notice women’s personality. Notice what the personalities you like respond to. Most importantly go where there are lots of women and start interacting with them on any level you can. You don’t have to hit up on them to interact with them. Interact with them on a safe level. Don’t do anything that will make you get scared and want to run away. Ask them for the time. Ask them for directions. Ask them their opinions on things, but don’t ask them for a date, or to dance if that is going to make you feel rejected if they say no. Go to a night club for example and ask a few women for help. Tell them you are recently divorced and you have no clue on how to meet women and how to act and ask them for their advice. In your spare time, read advice from dating gurus such as myself, but most importantly constantly and continually interact with women. When I was recently divorced, I found that internet and personal ads were a very easy way to meet women. In fact, I went out on 700 dates in one year after I got divorced by using internet and personal ad dating sites. When you meet women in any situation – talk, talk, talk. Ask questions, ask questions, ask questions. Women will help you if you just ask. Don’t make “getting a girl friend” your immediate target. Make “learning about women so you don’t make the same mistakes” your immediate target. I spent a whole year meeting women and asking questions and learning before I settled down with one woman. It was perhaps the best single thing I have ever done. If you do the above things you will gradually not only get back into the swing of things, but after a few months you will become an “old pro.” Mr. L. Rx
Question: Mr. L. Rx, this girl I have been dating says she is really attracted to me physically, but she broke up with me because I don’t meet all of her needs. I don’t understand this and she won’t explain it any further. What’s going on? Answer: There are many types of attraction vectors involved in sexual relationships. Especially for women, it is not all about what you look like or sex. For example, sexual attraction can be two-way mutual sex attraction, or a one way physical attraction with another dynamic attraction factor (money, emotion, power, status, political, mental stimulation, etc.) replacing or in addition to physical attraction on the other’s part. What this girl is telling you is that physical attraction is not enough for her to get involved in a long term sexual relationship with you. I don’t know much about your situation but perhaps she is looking for an economic attraction. Some women only get involved with a boyfriend who they are attracted to and who has money enough to take care of them. Some women don’t even care if a man is physically attractive if he has money. We usually call these latter kind of women “gold diggers.” Or it could be she is looking for an emotional attraction in addition to a physical attraction. Emotional attraction can be either one-way or mutual and is usually the most compelling factor in determining relationships for both men and women. (Although men are attracted to women for other factors, usually physical, emotional factors tend to be the deal clinchers.) Emotionally, for example, we will often become attracted to a person who we know is really attracted to us because we know they will be super nice to us and treat us right. Similarly we are often attracted to people who make us feel cool, wanted, desirable, etc. Whether this feeling is generated internally (the hot girl who does absolutely nothing for you but go out and look hot in front of all your friends thereby making you look cool and desirable to others) or externally (the not so hot girl who tells you over and over again how good looking, etc. you are), we all like relating to people who make us feel good about ourselves. Other emotional attraction vectors influencing relationships involve friendship, compatibility, good communication, emotional support, and mental stimulation among others. I don’t have time to go over all of these factors here, but you should realize that it is not all about looks for women. If you want to attempt to rescue the relationship then look into some of these other areas where you may be coming up short and see if you can make any corrections. Mr. L. Rx Question: Mr. L. Rx, my girlfriend says I am not creating our relationship. I love her and all but I have no clue what she is talking about. Can you help me understand this? Answer: When you first meet a girl and are attracted to her – you are trying to establish a relationship – whether it is just for a fling (sexual fun), ongoing friendship only (companionship and sexual fun) or something more serious – like all of the above plus living together and sharing finances and raising children together. You are hoping she will be attracted to you too, and then that will lead to friendly fun and, in most cases, what you really want and need from a woman – sexual fun. And if this happens, you’ll have a sexual relationship. Now remember, there is no static state in any relationship. Relationships either get better (you are relating more and having more fun or producing more desired products – happiness, contentment, personal goals, children, sex, etc.) or they get worse (you are relating less, seeing each other less, having less fun, having less sex, producing less products together.) So when a woman is talking about creating a relationship, she is talking about making a relationship better – more fun, more products, more togetherness, etc. And when you don’t create a relationship the opposite happens – whether you like it or not – and there will be less fun, less togetherness, less products, etc. So what is creating a relationship? Creating a relationship is doing those things which increase attraction (both physical and/or mental/spiritual), communication, understanding, mutual survival, agreements between you, and the number and or quality of the products you produce together. When you are not creating a relationship the attraction decreases (physical and/or mental/spiritual), the communication worsens, the understanding and mutual survival lessens, the agreements between you lessen and/or are broken, and the number and quality of products you produce together go down. So, let’s translate this into actions you can do. Well, you probably already know how to create a relationship. Most guys do it when they are romancing the girl to get her. They bring her flowers, open the door for her, assure her she looks nice (when she is worried about it), listen to her gossip even though it bores them out of their mind. They go to the mall with her when they really hate shopping. They go to chick movies with her now and again. Get it guys? You know what I am talking about, creating is all those things you do to get the girl! Now the problem is most guys do all kinds of things they don’t like just to get the girl. So, after they get her and feel comfortable with their position, they stop doing all those things that they don’t like. Problem is guys, that is the death toll for the relationship. Whatever you did to get the girl you have to do more of it, more frequently, and in new and better ways to create the relationship and keep her. And if your girl is complaining that you are not creating the relationship any more, I will bet you anything you are not doing the things you did to get her anymore. Mr. L. Rx

Category:

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am a recently divorced man, 42 years old. I was married to one woman for 15 years. How do I get back in the swing of things? I haven’t dated in a very long time.

Answer: Good question. There are several things you can do to get back into the swing of things. And it starts with observation.

Go somewhere where men and women are dating. Watch a few couples. See how they are acting. See how the men dress. Listen to the topics that are being talked about. Listen to whether the women are responding positively or negatively to the men they are with.

Observe the women. See what the women you are attracted to respond to and don’t respond to. In the end, if you are a careful observer you can learn what women you are attracted to like and don’t like in men’s behavior. Make sure you notice women’s personality. Notice what the personalities you like respond to.

Most importantly go where there are lots of women and start interacting with them on any level you can. You don’t have to hit up on them to interact with them.

Interact with them on a safe level. Don’t do anything that will make you get scared and want to run away. Ask them for the time. Ask them for directions. Ask them their opinions on things, but don’t ask them for a date, or to dance if that is going to make you feel rejected if they say no.

Go to a night club for example and ask a few women for help. Tell them you are recently divorced and you have no clue on how to meet women and how to act and ask them for their advice.

In your spare time, read advice from dating gurus such as myself, but most importantly constantly and continually interact with women. When I was recently divorced, I found that internet and personal ads were a very easy way to meet women. In fact, I went out on 700 dates in one year after I got divorced by using internet and personal ad dating sites.

When you meet women in any situation – talk, talk, talk. Ask questions, ask questions, ask questions. Women will help you if you just ask. Don’t make “getting a girl friend” your immediate target. Make “learning about women so you don’t make the same mistakes” your immediate target.

I spent a whole year meeting women and asking questions and learning before I settled down with one woman. It was perhaps the best single thing I have ever done.

If you do the above things you will gradually not only get back into the swing of things, but after a few months you will become an “old pro.”

Mr. L. Rx

NOTE: If you would like more in depth and organized information on how to meet, attract, and have a relationship with women consider the book How I Got 700 Dates In One Year, Dating To Relating – From A To Z, or any of the other books by Mr. L. Rx.

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  • BOOK OUTLINE OF CONTENTS Introduction - 5 Foreword - 8 1) DATING - How dating Guru's strategies go wrong. - 9 2) Different men like different women. Different women require different strategies. - 10 a) My Credentials - 12 b) Relationships - The problem with Dating Gurus - 16 c) Examples of strategies and how different personalities can require completely opposite strategies - 20 3) Two basic problems -  25 a) What guys do wrong - 25 b) What people do wrong - 31 c) Shortcut Personality Theory - "Feet Angles" and Personality Types - 32 4) The Basic Solution - OBSERVATION - How to Develop strategies - 41 a) Perception channels - 41 b) Motion Toward - Motion away - 46  i) Purposes in observing Motion - 48 ii) Scale of Sexual Motion - 51 iii) Adjusting as you interact - 51 EXAMPLE 1- 52 iv) Set Patterns of Motion - 54 EXAMPLE 2 - 57 c) Gradients - 62 5) Objectives - 65 a) Get Experience - Multiple or "Serial" dating - 65 b) Sane Dating principles build sane Relationships - 67 c) Sane Dating principles can be applied to existing Relationships - 73 d) Prospecting and Qualifying- is she the girl you are looking for - 78 6) Turning "meeting" into dating relationships. - 82 a)      Creating "Future" - 82 b)      Meeting women walking down the street.- 87 c)   Meeting Women In Stores, Restaurants, Malls, etc.- 92 d)   Meeting Women Who Work In Malls, Restaurants, Stores, etc. - 97 e)      How and Where to meet women. - 100 7) Turning Dating into Relationships - 103 a) How to get a second date. - 103 b) How To Turn The second, Third and Fourth dates into a Girlfriend - 107 8) Relationships - The Different Types of Sexual Relationships 112 9) How to Create a Better Relationship - 118 a) How To Manage "Creating A Better Relationship" -123 b) Creating A Relationship - The different Types of Create and Gradients -128 c) Your Love Interest as Your Teammate - 137 10) Seduction - 142 a) The Art of Seduction - A Classic Example - 142 b) Seduction - Short and Long Term Techniques - 145 c) Seduction Qualities On A First Meeting or Date - 151 11) Alternative Relationships -- Lovers, Multiple Lovers and Arrangements - 154 12) How To Make Love To A Woman - 163 a) Foreplay - 163 b) How To Get Your Wife or Girlfriend To Want More Sex - 166 c) Male Dysfunction and Relationships - 172 d) Sexual Technique - How to make love to a woman - 175 SUMMARY - 178 APPENDIX - 179
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