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  • Question: I’ve read some of your works on relationships. I use to have a good relationship but it seems we are just drifting apart. No cheating or anything like that, but we seem to be no longer interested in the same things. How do you keep a relationship together under such circumstances? Answer: Now the thing is, as you get through the first stage of attracting the girl, there comes a point where you start working together as a team pursuing mutual goals – house, car, boat, vacations, kids, etc. The thing you have to remember about this is that the process of working together as a team is more important than the things you obtain as a team. Teamwork is like “glue” that holds a couple together. Sometimes when a couple achieves some of the goals that are the objects of their teamwork, they forget to replace those goals with new ones. Sooner or later if you don’t replace old goals with new ones you run out of things to work together on. So often a couple gets engaged, gets married, has children, gets a nice house, gets a nice car and then stop setting goals and their teamwork disappears. Sometimes it doesn’t even go that far. Sometimes they both have a simple goal like moving in together. They do that and then stop creating team projects. Like the need to continue to do the things you did to attract her, working together to achieve goals and solve problems is the expanded foundation of a relationship. As long as you keep working together as a team and setting new goals to accomplish, you will continue to create a healthy satisfying relationship. Goals don’t always have to be mutual goals. Sometimes a couple helps each other on personal goals. They work together as a team to get her to lose 10 pounds. They work together as a team to get him a better job. Doing that creates the relationship in a healthy manner. Telling your girl “you’d better lose ten pounds or I am out of here” doesn’t. Telling the guy he’d “better get a better job” or you are gone doesn’t create a relationship either. These kinds of attitudes make you “enemies” or “opponents” rather than teammates. Mutual goals are common “opponents” and make you teammates fighting against your obstacles to achieving your goals. I can go on and on and on, on this topic, but I think you get the point. Continually setting goals and working on those goals as a team helps to create a relationship. Stop doing this and the relationship will start falling apart or drifting away. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: I’ve read some of your works on relationships. I use to have a good relationship but it seems we are just drifting apart. No…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx , what are the mistakes the guys typically make to screw up a healthy relationship? Answer: Well here are five of the most common basic mistakes. 1) Cheating. 2) Stopping creating the romance that they created to win the girl in the first place. 3) Not continually creating a common opponent to fight as teammates. 4) Not continuing to monitor the goals and purposes of the team and make sure that they are still in unison. 5) Not making sure she continues to do all of the above too. Now to create a relationship with a willing partner who wants the same thing as you do, all you have to do is continue to create romance, continue to be teammates against a common opponent (and not turn on each other for lack of a “real opponent”), continue to stay in communication with each other as you grow and change (to create staying “on the same page”), continue to be teammates and not become the enemy (by cheating or some such thing) and finally make sure your partner continues to do all of these things too. 1) Cheating – When you cheat, you become the enemy. You are no longer working as team mates for the same thing. You have a hidden agenda and you are not working for the best interest of the team. 2) A lot of guys make the mistake of stopping to romance the girl. When they consider her a teammate they feel they no longer have to “win her over” or romance her. They feel they have “got” her. This is a big mistake. All those things you did to impress her and get her, worked. These were the things that created “attraction” towards you. Now that you have secured this agreement for her to be your girlfriend or wife and enter into this new game of “teammates” it doesn’t mean that the old game is over. And if you don’t continue to do the things which cause attraction, you will lose her. 3) Now once you move from the stage of a relationship where you are trying to win the girl over, you enter a stage where you are teammates mostly (but remember still keep doing those things to cause the girl to be continually attracted to you) In the “teammate ” stage you are in agreement. You are a couple and you are approaching the world together as a team. Now, depending on your type of relationship agreement, that can be anything from just creating mutual pleasure together (like sex, or hanging out) to combining your finances and taking on the world financially to improve your mutual lot, to deciding to take on “having kids” and raising them to the standards that you both agree on. Continually setting goals and working on those goals as a team helps to create a relationship. Stop doing this and the relationship will start falling apart. 4) Now to continually monitor these goals you set as a team, this means communication. You have to talk to your partner and continually monitor where they are at with respect to your mutual and their and your personal goals. People change and grow. You can’t assume the girl you married 3 years ago is the same girl today. You can’t assume the things that she considered important and wanted to work on with you 3 years ago, 1 year ago, even 6 months ago are still the goals she has today. Communicate! Talk! Listen! You have to continually find out where you are at. If you keep communication in then you wont’ have any surprise. If you assume she is the same (when she isn’t) then you will be surprised one day when you exclaim “I don’t know who you are anymore” as she walks out the door or cheats on you. 5) Finally, you have to get your girl to do all of these things too. One person creating a relationship is better than none, but two people creating a relationship is a cinch for success. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx , what are the mistakes the guys typically make to screw up a healthy relationship? Answer: Well here are five of…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, you talk about using “gradients” a lot in your writings. Can you give me an example of how to use gradients to approach a woman? Answer: Yes, here is an example: I use to feel uncomfortable approaching women. I felt like walking up to an attractive woman and saying “Wow, are you hot or what?” or “Will you marry me?” or “I’m in love.” Or “Hey, I just saw you over there and I’m really attracted to you.” Now before I really looked at it I thought the sequence of approach was something like this: 1) First step – You have to approach the girl or she is gone forever and you lose. 2) Second step – You have to tell her you are attracted to her or you won’t be able to create the chance of seeing her again. Problem is I either couldn’t bring myself to do it, too shy, too insecure about my self, or I got drunk and did it and got shot down 90% of the time. So after a while, I would just let the opportunity pass. One day I finally sat down and applied gradients to the situation. I figured out that the real problem was I was uncomfortable with telling a hot girl exactly how much I liked her because I didn’t want to face the rejection (especially in front of other people) if she responded negatively. Then I figured out a way that I didn’t have to say these higher gradient things (such as “I love you” or “you are so hot”) on the approach. So let’s look at the sequence of events in this situation which added some gradient steps between 1 and 2 above. 1) First step – You have to approach the girl or she is gone forever and you lose. 2) Second step – You have to say something to her or someway attempt to engage her in a conversation as she probably won’t do it herself. 3) Third step – Say something neutral that will not embarrass you or be obvious to people around that you are hitting on her. 4) Watch her response – does she try to keep the conversation going? 5) If she doesn’t, let her go – no harm no foul – nothing to be embarrassed about after all you just asked her for the time. But if she keeps the conversation going and appears to be interested in doing so go to next step. 6) Keep the conversation going myself. At some point, add a slight “flirt” and see how she responds – something like “Wow, you have really pretty eyes.” 7) If the slight flirt doesn’t push her away, take it to the next level. Tell her she is an interesting person and you would like to talk to her some more but you have to go. Get her phone number and/or email. 8 ) You have achieved step 2 (letting her know you are attracted to her)in the first example above because women are used to subtle communications, and she now knows you are interested in her and thinks you are really cool because you did it in normal way (not the usual guy way – “Wow, you are so beautiful!”) With this one observation I worked out a gradient strategy that forever handled my uncomfortable feelings and shyness. My shyness was really about me not wanting to look stupid by getting shot down by some girl in front of other people. When I used a gradient approach it eliminated what I was really afraid of – looking stupid by putting my heart on my sleeve and having some girl stomp all over it. So my best pick up line became and still is today, guys, “Hi!” Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, you talk about using “gradients” a lot in your writings. Can you give me an example of how to use gradients…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, I never know what is going on in a relationship. I think things are going fine, then the girl leaves me. Or I am worried and there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong. How do you tell what is really going on in a relationship? Answer: If you want to know what is going on in a relationship you have to learn to observe motion. There are only three basic motions a person can exhibit with respect to you. 1) Move toward you, 2) move away from you, and 3) stay in the same place with respect to you (no motion). Now when I talk about motion with respect to a man/woman relationship I am talking about motion towards you in many ways, like: 1) physically (a women moves closer to you, touches you, etc.) 2) mentally (agreement would be a motion toward, disagreement a motion away) 3) emotionally (liking you and feeling comfortable would be a motion toward and disliking you, feeling uncomfortable with you would be a motion away) 4) communicatively (wanting to talk to you would be a motion toward, not wanting to talk to you would be a motion away). These are the statistics that you use to manage your relationship. You watch and observe what she is doing and the direction of her motion. If she wants less sex, she is moving away. If she doesn’t talk to you as much, she is moving away. If she is getting bored with you, when she use to be enthralled she is moving away. If she wants “to talk” about things (guys hate this), this is good. She hasn’t given up, she is still moving toward you. If she asks you to go shopping with her (guys hate this too) she is moving toward you. Now what do you do about it? Real simple – observe what makes her move toward you, create more of that. Observe what makes her move away from you and stop doing that. Now if you just do those two simple actions on a daily basis, you can make any relationship better and continue to grow and you can repair a relationship that has gone astray. Don’t put your feelings about things above your observations. It does not matter what you feel is good, should be good, or should work, etc. OBSERVE what makes her move toward you on the vector you are working on – physical, emotional, communication, mental – and CREATE more of that. OBSERVE what makes her move away and STOP doing that. The only other thing you will have to take into account in all of this, is your personal integrity. Sometimes when you start to really observe people and see what makes them move toward you, or away from you, you get into a conflict of values, interests, opinions, etc. You may find yourself in a position that you don’t want to do the things that work and make her move toward you, and she doesn’t want to do the things that you would like to do to make her move toward you. When you find yourself in that position, you are perhaps in the wrong relationship and should sit down and really discuss your values and where each of you want to go with your lives and your relationship to see if it is worth continuing. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, I never know what is going on in a relationship. I think things are going fine, then the girl leaves me.…

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  • Question: What are some of the mistakes guys make trying to create a relationship? Answer: When we talk about CREATING a relationship, we are talking about making a relationship better – more fun, more products, more togetherness, etc. And when you DON’T create a relationship the opposite happens – whether you like it or not – and there will be less fun, less togetherness, less products, etc. NOW, selecting the right person to establish a relationship with has a lot to do with it. Because you can unfortunately get with the wrong person who will not CREATE the relationship or try to make it any better. But qualifying a person for a relationship is another technology and I address that in other places, and falls more under DATING technology than RELATING technology. All of this actually goes back to INTEGRITY and QUALIFYING. When DATING – Never, never, NEVER do things that you really DON’T want to do. If you don’t like giving a girl flowers – DON’T – find a girl who doesn’t like flowers. If you don’t like opening car doors for a woman and being a gentleman, then don’t be one. FIND a girl who is liberated and doesn’t want a man to do that. If your idea of romance that you can CREATE is going camping and fishing, then find a girl who thinks that is ROMANTIC too. Believe it or not, guys, there is a girl who is just right for you. I know because I am the guy who went out on 700 dates in a year and talked to an awful lot of women. YOU don’t have to compromise your integrity to get a relationship with a woman. SO the first mistake here on CREATING relationships with women is NOT FINDING the right woman for you in the first place. The second mistake is to compromise your integrity and start doing things “to get the woman” that you aren’t going to be able to continue to do AFTER you get her. The third mistake is to STOP doing the things which got you the girl in the first place. WHATEVER got you the girl, will continue to get you the girl (with a few exceptions I won’t get in to now). But you are going to have to be a little creative and figure out NEW ways to do it so it doesn’t become routine and boring. SO, if you went dancing with the girl once a week when you were courting her (and she loved it) continue to go dancing with her once a week when you are married, even when you have children – hire a baby sitter. Romance your wife. But you may need to vary it – dance with her after a romantic dinner at home. Take her to new and exciting dance places. Take dance lessons with her. Get the idea. There are probably dozens of little things (or big things) like this you did to get her. CONTINUE to do them. Do them better. Find new ways of doing them. And find new ways to attract her. You are going to have to do this continuously, and if you want to keep her for the rest of your life, then you are going to have to do this for the rest of your life. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: What are some of the mistakes guys make trying to create a relationship? Answer: When we talk about CREATING a relationship, we are talking…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, what kind of mistakes have you made on dates that lost you women? What is the best strategy to use when going on second and third dates, etc. Answer: I have made plenty of mistakes. There is no one right way for a guy to behave with a woman. But if you use a strategy you will only be right 10-30 percent of the time. If you simply talk to women, ask questions and listen to the answers, they will tell you where they are at about things and what to do to get them. If you approach it this way, you can be right 70-90 percent of the time. I close about 90 percent of the women I meet on a first date for a second date. And when I get a second date, it is a done deal. A relationship is mine if I want it. I have made plenty of mistakes over the years however. But usually the ones I lose are the oddball crazy ones. The ones that don’t fit any pattern that I have seen before, but are none-the-less crazy. For example, I have lost women on dates 2-5 by not being sexually aggressive enough. This usually happened when women were giving me mixed signals. Telling me either verbally or with body language that they didn’t want to have sex yet, then ending things later complaining that I wasn’t aggressive enough. I have also lost women on dates 2-5 by being too aloof. Usually hot women like it when I am aloof and not chasing after them. I never, never, never tell a woman she is “Hot” on the first date or even for a few dates after that. I might only begin to tell her after we are having sex, how hot I think she is. But occasionally you get a woman who is “hot” with very low self esteem and she needs that attention from guys that most hot women hate. I lose them because they are not confident enough in themselves to chase after me. Losing the crazy ones is not a big deal to me, however. In fact, I prefer it. But, if you are a little crazy yourself, you might like that type of girl. So when you get mixed signals or suspect that there may be some deeper insecurity issues or low self esteem going on with a girl that she is not revealing, be a little more observant. Expect the unexpected. If I had been a little more observant, I probably wouldn’t have lost the crazy ones either. And finally remember your sex gradients. I’ve talked about them before. Remember that “Negative Sex talk” (I don’t like it when guys do this and guys do that”, “You can’t have sex with me, yet,” etc.) is the fist gradient of sexual interest. Positive sex talk is the next gradient. The physical contact gradients come after those. Light touches with the hands while talking, holding hands, kissing, making out, petting, heavy petting, intercourse. So when a girl is not touching you or kissing you, don’t necessarily give up on her. Talk to her. If she brings up “negative sex talk” or “positive sex talk” on her own, she is interested in you. But don’t you be the one to bring it up or she might go into “Negative sex talk” as a reaction not as a flirt. Listen to her and see what she originates. Once she brings it up either positive or negative, join in. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, what kind of mistakes have you made on dates that lost you women? What is the best strategy to use when…

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  • Question: What about making “the move”? After the first date, when is the best time to make “the move”? Answer: There is no universal best time. Each woman is different. But if you listen and observe, you will know when the time is right. Women will tell you or show you. I’ve gone out with women who have overtly asked me to make out with them on the first date. I’ve gone out with women who have just had that “look” that told me I should kiss them – right now. I’ve gone out with women that would only give me a hand shake on the first date. But when I asked them out for a second, a third, a fourth date, they always said yes. That tells me something. It tells me they are interested in me but just very conservative. Usually with this kind of woman, by the third or fourth date, I start getting a little hug and a cheek kiss, but more importantly the women usually start talking about sex and asking me how I like this or that sexually and sort of qualifying me on the subject of sex. When they start talking about sex, this is a big clue. So the next date, I usually give them a choice. I say to these very polite and restrained women, “Would you like to go to dinner and a movie again or do you want to just hang out at home and relax, cuddle and watch some TV?” You see, when they start talking about sex, I know despite their rather conservative behavior, that they are ready for it. So I give them a choice just to confirm my suspicions. When they choose to stay at home (and they always do), I know it is time to take it to the next level. All the dates after the first date and before being intimate are all actually very similar. Some women will do on date fifteen what other women will do on date two. Some women just need more time to get comfortable with you. They feel that it takes a long time to get to really know a man. So they proceed more cautiously. If you ask a woman questions about dating while you are getting to know her, she will usually reveal her own dating philosophy. Then you will know how to proceed. Some women will even tell you that they want the guy to take charge and set the pace. Other women want to be in control and need respect from a guy. Some women want a guy to try even though they will constantly shut him down until they are ready. The fact that the guy tries makes them feel good and desired. Other women don’t like guys to try too much at all. They give you little signals and they want you to respect and respond to the signals they give. Other women like to be aggressive. Still others like shy guys. There is no one right time for a guy to make his move. If you simply talk to women, ask questions and listen to the answers, you will know when to make your move and be right most of the time. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: What about making “the move”? After the first date, when is the best time to make “the move”? Answer: There is no universal best…

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