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Flirtation is an interesting subject indeed. We all do it at one time or another, in one way or another. Yet some of us do it better and more effectively than others. What would be better and more effective flirtation? Well let’s look at the definition: “Playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest.” So any flirtation that was more effectively arousing sexual interest would be better flirtation by this definition. Now the problem with flirtation is there is no one way to flirt. As I have mentioned many, many times in my writings, different people have different personalities. What one person would consider “arousing”, another might consider crude, or stupid or childish. So are there any universal types of behavior that might be effective flirtation? Yes, communication as opposed to no communication. (Notice I said communication – not talking. Communication can be non-verbal.) In other words there has to be a communication in order to flirt. That is a universal attribute of flirtation. Successful or effective flirtation would create “attraction.” So a communication designed to create sexual attraction or interest would be effective flirtation, despite personality differences. Now remember, personalities too can vary widely on what is considered “attractive.” If you read my articles on how to meet women in bars and clubs you will remember that in order to create attraction, one type of personality required a direct confident communication said directly to them, whereas another required the opposite, an indirect communication said in their presence but aimed at another. So it can get complicated. But let’s talk about what works most of the time in normal everyday situations – not bars and clubs. 1) Smile. Definitely a flirt and usually received as such by most people. 2) Look her in the eyes, without flinching and looking away. (Followed by a “smile” is definitely a top flirt.) 3) Talk to her. Find an obvious excuse to talk to her. “Excuse me, do you know what time it is?” Or “Do you know where there is a bookstore around here?” Doesn’t matter what you say. If you do one and two above then approach and talk to her, she will know you are flirting. And it is a better flirt if you just suggest interest. Telling her how hot she is can be an effective flirt for some women, but will blow a lot of really hot women away. Keep it suggestive, you will do better in the long run. 4) Find an excuse to move in close. (Make sure you smell good when you do.) Hold it for a brief moment or two then back away again. Closeness suggests intimacy. Use it sparingly when you can. 5) Find an excuse to touch her lightly now and again. Touch her arm, her elbow, her hand. Don’t be feely, grabby – just a light touch then retreat. Again this is a form of closeness that suggests intimacy. 6) Don’t overstay your welcome. Make your flirts short and sweet. Move in, flirt. Leave and do something else. Come back and flirt again. Leave, come back. Keep this sort of cycle going. This kind of flirtation is best done with people you can see again. This won’t work on a woman walking down the street that you won’t ever see again. That would require a different type of flirt strategy and you would have to get her number or something for it to be successful. 7) Now as you get to know her in the steps above, you can extend your “drop ins” and talk a little. Be real, compliment her personality or her taste in clothes, or non-sexual parts of her body (for example, her eyes or hands). Don’t be blatantly sexual. Most of all listen to what she has to say. Play off of that. Flirtation is all about her – not about you. So don’t start bragging and talking about yourself. Now if you do these things you will create a little sexual excitement on the part of most women. I would say about sixty percent of women would respond to the above in a positive way in a normal situation. (Not a bar or club or walking down the street.) What about the other forty percent? Well that requires about fifteen other strategies. Things like “negative sex talk”, ignoring them, being close and ignoring them, paying attention to another woman, being cocky and funny, “positive sex talk”, being super romantic, talking dirty, being shy, etc. Things I talk about elsewhere….. Mr. L. Rx
Last week one of my friends asked a question that I thought was worth discussing. He asked me how to overcome fears that pop up sometimes when we approach women for the first time or even the hundredth time - fears we get even when things are going good. The truth is it is not an easy question to answer as it varies from person to person. There are literally entire books that have been written on that subject alone. However, one of the best techniques I have used to overcome my fears usually involves lowering the gradient. What are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder. If you try to go to the top of the ladder on your first step, it will be impossible and you will fail. If you keep trying it over and over you will start building up a "complex" about failing, and soon not try anymore. If you try to jump up five or six steps on your first try, it will also be scary - not necessarily impossible but scary. Probability is that if you have no experiences jumping that high you will fail too. The right approach is to take the first step and then advance, one step at a time. It is the most comfortable way to climb a ladder. Here are some examples of how I apply that to overcome fears that pop up in approaching women for the first time or one hundredth time. As most guys do, I often go out to approach women in a social setting. This can be especially scary. So when I am approaching a beautiful woman in a social setting, rather than telling her how beautiful she is and how much I am attracted to her (which exposes my fear of being shot down in front of a lot of people and embarrassed) I lower the gradient of approach and simply say, "Hi." If a girl likes you or is interested in you she will find a way to continue the conversation. If she doesn't then I know she is not interested in me and the simple "Hi" just appears that I am friendly, not necessarily even flirting, so I don't feel shot down in front of other people. If I am starting to date a girl and I feel fearful about approaching her on taking the next step of getting intimate with her, I don't ask her, "Do you want to get intimate?" I take a lower gradient and ask her if she wants to relax, get cozy, and just watch TV at my house. If she doesn't want to get intimate she certainly won't want to be alone with me, getting cozy at my house. Or rather than trying to suddenly "kiss her", I will simply hold her hand or give her light touches every now and again to see how responsive she is to my touch. If she likes my touch she will start touching me back to give me the go ahead signal. Sometimes when I am fearful of confronting a woman about making a move, I even use “multiple choice” as a test of gradients. When planning a date and fearful to approach her directly on the subject of coming over to my house, I might say, “Do you want to (a) go to a movie? (b) go out to dinner? (c) meet up with our friends at the party? or (d) stay home and watch TV and cuddle? That way I don’t feel rejected if she doesn’t choose (d) as I didn’t directly suggest that we had to do that. But if she does select (d) I know she is ready to take it to the next level. These are some examples. When you feel uncomfortable and fearful whether approaching a women for the first time or someone you are dating, on a subject matter you are uncomfortable with, just try to think of a lower gradient that isn't as scary and allows you to make forward progress toward your goal. If you do this you will learn how to approach women and how to relate to them very quickly. Question: Mr. L. Rx, I already have a casual intimate relationship with a woman, I met about two months ago. It is not serious. We get together about once a week. Problem is I am beginning to have some feelings for her and think I might really like her. Can I develop a real relationship with her? Or is it too late? How would I go about doing this? Answer: Well, this is unusual. Most of the time, guys are trying to figure out how to develop a relationship with a girl they haven’t been intimate with. Yes, it is possible but it does present some unique challenges. First of all you need to find out where this woman stands. If you guys are having a casual intimate relationship, you need to know if that is something she wants to maintain or if she, like you, is starting to feel different about things. Now if you go about this the wrong way, you can scare her off. So be careful. A lot of times people who are coming out of a divorce or a break up want an intimate relationship but they don’t want commitment or feeling like they are getting close to someone. They are trying to protect themselves from being hurt by not getting close. Of course this will heal in time, but the time factor can take one, two or even three years for some people. If you really like someone and feel they are worth the wait, you can seal the deal by not putting any pressure on them during this time, maintaining the casual relationship and just being there for them when they are ready for something else. Most of the time, these type of things don’t work out because one person is too impatient to wait and puts pressure on the other person who is not ready, so they end up in a spat and a break up. Now, from your question we know nothing about this woman. She could be a career “no commitment” type or recently divorced or one or two years down the road after a break up. So you need to ask a lot of questions in a neutral sort of way, so that you do not play your hand in case she is not ready for your feelings. The best way to maintain neutrality is to not originate questions out of the blue, but to play off of her originations. For example, if she mentions her ex and berates him, you could say, “Sounds like you guys didn’t have a very good relationship.” If she says, “Yeah,” you could come back with something like, “So does that mean you hate all men, or do you think he was just a bully?” If she says, “No, I don’t hate all men, blah, blah, blah,” then she might be more ready for a relationship then if she says “Yeah.” The conversations you will have with her will be very situational so I can’t tell you what to exactly say and ask in this short column, but perhaps you get the idea. What you don’t want to ask are questions about you and your relationship with her. That is not neutral and could get you in trouble if she is not ready for anything serious. So don’t say things like, “How do you feel about our relationship?” or “I am starting to have feelings for you,” etc. until you know if she is ready and can handle this type of topic. If she is not, you just need to keep informed of her general feelings about men and relationships until she is ready to get serious with someone again. Mr. L. Rx

Category:

Question: How do I flirt with women?

Answer: Flirtation is an interesting subject indeed. We all do it at one time or another, in one way or another. Yet some of us do it better and more effectively than others.

What would be better and more effective flirtation? Well let’s look at the definition:

“Playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest.”

So any flirtation that was more effectively arousing sexual interest would be better flirtation by this definition.

Now the problem with flirtation is there is no one way to flirt. As I have mentioned many, many times in my writings, different people have different personalities. What one person would consider “arousing”, another might consider crude, or stupid or childish.

So are there any universal types of behavior that might be effective flirtation?

Yes, communication as opposed to no communication. (Notice I said communication – not talking. Communication can be non-verbal.)  In other words there has to be a communication in order to flirt. That is a universal attribute of flirtation.

Successful or effective flirtation would create “attraction.”  So a communication designed to create sexual attraction or interest would be effective flirtation, despite personality differences.

Now remember, personalities too can vary widely on what is considered “attractive.” If you read my articles on how to meet women in bars and clubs you will remember that in order to create attraction, one type of personality required a direct confident communication said directly to them, whereas another required the opposite, an indirect communication said in their presence but aimed at another.

So it can get complicated.

But let’s talk about what works most of the time in normal everyday situations – not bars and clubs.

1) Smile. Definitely a flirt and usually received as such by most people.

2) Look her in the eyes, without flinching and looking away. (Followed by a “smile” is definitely a top flirt.)

3) Talk to her. Find an obvious excuse to talk to her. “Excuse me, do you know what time it is?” Or “Do you know where there is a     bookstore around here?” Doesn’t matter what you say.  If you do one and two above then approach and talk to her, she will know you are flirting. And it is a better flirt if you just suggest interest. Telling her how hot she is can be an effective flirt for some women, but will blow a lot of really hot women away. Keep it suggestive, you will do better in the long run.

4) Find an excuse to move in close. (Make sure you smell good when you do.) Hold it for a brief moment or two then back away again. Closeness suggests intimacy. Use it sparingly when you can.

5) Find an excuse to touch her lightly now and again. Touch her arm, her elbow, her hand. Don’t be feely, grabby – just a light touch then retreat. Again this is a form of closeness that suggests intimacy.

6) Don’t overstay your welcome. Make your flirts short and sweet. Move in, flirt. Leave and do something else. Come back and flirt again. Leave, come back. Keep this sort of cycle going. This kind of flirtation is best done with people you can see again.  This won’t work on a woman walking down the street that you won’t ever see again. That would require a different type of flirt strategy and you would have to get her number or something for it to be successful.

7) Now as you get to know her in the steps above, you can extend your “drop ins” and talk a little. Be real, compliment her personality or her taste in clothes, or non-sexual parts of her body (for example, her eyes or hands). Don’t be blatantly sexual. Most of all listen to what she has to say. Play off of that. Flirtation is all about her – not about you. So don’t start bragging and talking about yourself.

Now if you do these things you will create a little sexual excitement on the part of most women. I would say about sixty percent of women would respond to the above in a positive way in a normal situation. (Not a bar or club or walking down the street.)

What about the other forty percent? Well that requires about fifteen other strategies. Things like “negative sex talk”, ignoring them, being close and ignoring them, paying attention to another woman, being cocky and funny, “positive sex talk”, being super romantic, talking dirty, being shy, etc. Things I talk about elsewhere…..

Mr. L. Rx

NOTE: If you would like more in depth and organized information on how to meet, attract, and have a relationship with women consider the book How I Got 700 Dates In One Year, Dating To Relating – From A To Z, or any of the other books by Mr. L. Rx.

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  • BOOK OUTLINE OF CONTENTS Introduction - 5 Foreword - 8 1) DATING - How dating Guru's strategies go wrong. - 9 2) Different men like different women. Different women require different strategies. - 10 a) My Credentials - 12 b) Relationships - The problem with Dating Gurus - 16 c) Examples of strategies and how different personalities can require completely opposite strategies - 20 3) Two basic problems -  25 a) What guys do wrong - 25 b) What people do wrong - 31 c) Shortcut Personality Theory - "Feet Angles" and Personality Types - 32 4) The Basic Solution - OBSERVATION - How to Develop strategies - 41 a) Perception channels - 41 b) Motion Toward - Motion away - 46  i) Purposes in observing Motion - 48 ii) Scale of Sexual Motion - 51 iii) Adjusting as you interact - 51 EXAMPLE 1- 52 iv) Set Patterns of Motion - 54 EXAMPLE 2 - 57 c) Gradients - 62 5) Objectives - 65 a) Get Experience - Multiple or "Serial" dating - 65 b) Sane Dating principles build sane Relationships - 67 c) Sane Dating principles can be applied to existing Relationships - 73 d) Prospecting and Qualifying- is she the girl you are looking for - 78 6) Turning "meeting" into dating relationships. - 82 a)      Creating "Future" - 82 b)      Meeting women walking down the street.- 87 c)   Meeting Women In Stores, Restaurants, Malls, etc.- 92 d)   Meeting Women Who Work In Malls, Restaurants, Stores, etc. - 97 e)      How and Where to meet women. - 100 7) Turning Dating into Relationships - 103 a) How to get a second date. - 103 b) How To Turn The second, Third and Fourth dates into a Girlfriend - 107 8) Relationships - The Different Types of Sexual Relationships 112 9) How to Create a Better Relationship - 118 a) How To Manage "Creating A Better Relationship" -123 b) Creating A Relationship - The different Types of Create and Gradients -128 c) Your Love Interest as Your Teammate - 137 10) Seduction - 142 a) The Art of Seduction - A Classic Example - 142 b) Seduction - Short and Long Term Techniques - 145 c) Seduction Qualities On A First Meeting or Date - 151 11) Alternative Relationships -- Lovers, Multiple Lovers and Arrangements - 154 12) How To Make Love To A Woman - 163 a) Foreplay - 163 b) How To Get Your Wife or Girlfriend To Want More Sex - 166 c) Male Dysfunction and Relationships - 172 d) Sexual Technique - How to make love to a woman - 175 SUMMARY - 178 APPENDIX - 179
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  • A special instantly downloadable report to get you to JUMP START your love life. Don't sit around the house wondering when you will ever date again when within hours you can get started meeting and dating 100s of women in the coming year. Mr. L. Rx has done it and still does it, and he will show you HOW! In this concise, downloadable, easy to read and easy to implement report you will learn: -- TWO separate proven TECHNIQUES for generating 100's of dates a year -- TECHNIQUES that are FAST, and SIMPLE to learn, and that you can START implementing them IN A COUPLE OF HOURS from now. That's right in just a few hours from now you can be on your way to generating 100's of dates a year. It is that POWERFUL. So powerful, that I'LL guarantee it. If you try my techniques and they don't work for you. I'll give you your money back NO QUESTIONS ASKED -- TECHNIQUES that don't require you to have any understanding of women at all. You can be shy, UGLY, and a geek and they will work. IN FACT these TECHNIQUES will not only get you 100's of dates, but the sheer experience of going out on 100s of dates will give you a better understanding of women than anything you could ever read in a book--anything that I or any other GURU could ever say to you. -- This REPORT is GUARANTEED to change your love life. That is why I wrote it. There is NO reason for you guys to wait for the release of DATING TO RELATING the book for you guys to start benefitting from my knowledge.
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