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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I don’t have trouble approaching women. I am forty years old and have no back off and have never had back off approaching women. However, my closing rate really sucks. On approaches, I usually get at least fifty percent of the women to give me their phone numbers, but after that I usually only get ten percent to return my call and when I go out with women I only get to second base with about one out of twenty. What am I doing wrong? Answer: Well, it doesn’t really sound like women like you very much. It sounds like you get a high percentage of phone numbers because you are probably very aggressive and women are giving you a phone number to make you go away. Guys who use our system run about eighty to ninety percent on each of the points you bring up: Getting phone numbers should be eighty percent of your approaches; eighty percent of the women you call should return your call, and when you go out you should reach second base with at least eighty percent of the women you go out with. If you are not getting these kinds of results then yes, you are definitely doing something wrong. In your case, the numbers suggest you are too aggressive. You probably need to listen more and “aggress” less. A lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that just because a woman talks to them, the woman likes them. It is especially easy to make this mistake when you are aggressive. If you are aggressive and funny, a lot of women will talk to you because you are entertaining. Doesn’t mean they are interested in you as a boyfriend prospect. Other times, women will continue talking to an aggressive guy just to be friendly or nice. I have seen a lot of aggressive guys monopolize a conversation (in other words, do all or most all of the talking) to the point that they don’t see or listen to what is going on. They take the fact that the girl is still there to be a signal that they are doing okay, when in fact the girl is just being nice or considers you entertaining and that is all. Frequently these kinds of guys get lots of phone numbers but no return calls or very few dates. These kinds of guys need to be less aggressive and learn to be a little more mellow. Just say, “Hi” to a girl and then shut up. As you converse with a girl, frequently say things then shut up. Give a girl the chance to say something to keep the conversation going or to walk away if she wants. If she stays and actually “tries” to keep the conversation going – then you know you have someone who is actually interested in you. When you just non-stop talk, entertain, or say rude things to get a reaction, women will stay and talk or listen to you, but it is not for the reasons you think it is, and it is not because they are interested in you romantically. So if you want to improve your percentages to the eighty to ninety percent range the first thing you will have to do is shut up and learn to listen and observe. If the woman is making an effort to keep the conversation going, if she stays and talks to you when you are just listening, then perhaps – just perhaps – she might be actually interested in you. Mr. L. Rx NOTE: If you would like more in depth and organized information on how to meet, attract, and have a relationship with women consider the book How I Got 700 Dates In One Year, Dating To Relating – From A To Z, or any of the other books by Mr. L. Rx.
Question: Mr. L. Rx, what does it mean when you really don’t like your girlfriend’s friends or she doesn’t like yours, but you both like each other? How do you handle it? Answer: Good question. I think it is something we have all run into at one time or another. I think it goes back to one of the basics that I teach at Dating To Relating which is personality. People come in many different personality types. Not all personality types get along with each other. On top of that, people have a social personality type – a personality that they, in a sense, “put on” because they have been educated that that is the way they should act. Then they have the real personality – the one they are despite what they have been trained to be. Most upsets I see in dating are not because men don’t understand women or women don’t understand men, they are because people don’t understand people. There are more personality differences between a happy man and an angry man, then there are between a happy man and a happy woman. We understand the opposite sex a little better than we think we do. It is people and personality differences that most of us don’t understand. Sometimes we find ourselves hanging out with relatives or people that we grew up with just because we have known them a long time, not because we like them. Or maybe it is because we work with them, or know them from school. Nonetheless, we call them friends and feel obligated to see them and hang out with them even though we don’t particularly like them. A real friend is someone who supports you in your life choices and makes you feel good about yourself in general. Anything less than that and the person is an “acquaintance” not a friend. And of course we have to look out for those few who will “help” you in a time of need, just so they can berate you and make you feel bad about yourself at other times. Who needs that kind of help? So what happens in relationships is sometimes you end up attracted to someone who hangs out with a bunch of people who are not like the person that you are attracted to. The person that you like probably has an inability to pick good friends. Or, on the other hand maybe you are the odd one. Maybe that person has good friends and you are the one that they shouldn’t be hanging with. Or maybe you are the one with a bad choice of friends or maybe you have good friends and have made a bad choice in a girlfriend. There is only one way out of these kinds of situations. You will have to communicate your feelings to your significant other and see where the chips fall. Perhaps they already suspected what you point out but never had the encouragement to disconnect from the “so-called” friends. Or, maybe their friends are much more important to them than you. Right or wrong, it is better to find out where you stand early on in the relationship, rather than waiting for a “blow-up” a few years down the road. Communication is the only way out after you are in a mess. Before that, learning to discern personality types when you meet people is the way to avoid these kind of messes in the first place. Mr. L. Rx Question: Mr. L. Rx, a lot of dating gurus advise about using humor to attract women, however, you don’t say much about that. Why is that? Answer: Well, you are right. I do not focus much of my writing on using humor as a technique to meet women. The reason is that humor is one of those “ten percent tools” that a lot of the dating gurus recommend. By “ten percent tools”, I mean techniques that if used broadly, only work on a small percentage of women. The tools that I recommend are technologies that result in an eighty to ninety percent success rate – something that you will never achieve just by being funny. First of all humor changes with personality type. So what one person considers funny, the next person won’t. Even if you were to come up with a successful “humor” approach, to be successful eighty to ninety percent of the time you would have to change your jokes and/or delivery with the personality types you are approaching. I have done this in sales, for example. I have based a sales technique on humor and had success, but still I had to change the delivery of the humor to match the personality type I was addressing. When I was doing door-to-door sales as a kid, I found that even socio-economic types have different humor and had to base my approach on that. Having said that, humor is an obvious advantage for a guy who has the ability to be funny. Just look at some of the dating site profiles of women. Look what they put down as desired in a man. A very large percentage of women will put “funny” or a sense of humor, or some reference to humor. The problem I see for men (besides matching the right kind of humor for the right personality type) is trying to be funny all the time. Just because a woman says she likes humor or “funny.” Doesn’t mean that it should be the only thing you do — as some of the gurus would have you believe. If you had to do just one thing all the time, “listening” to a woman has humor beat hands down. But if you can spice up your listening with a few appropriate humorous comments now and again, it certainly won’t hurt and could just make you that special guy she is looking for. But the reason I don’t focus on training guys to be funny is that it is still just a “ten percent tool” and as such, not worth a lot of attention as a basic strategy. In fact “trying” to be funny all the time will backfire and wreck more approaches than it will help. When you are funny without having all the other basics in place, women will use you for entertainment and you will be relegated, more often than not, into that “friendship” role that most guys dread. And it will work on a few of a certain personality type – hence your ten percent – and that will be it. When you listen to women as your primary focus and respond appropriately in both humorous and non-humorous ways, you can break out of that “ten percent” result and achieve the kind of success ratios we strive for – eighty to ninety percent – all the time. Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I don’t have trouble approaching women. I am forty years old and have no back off and have never had back off approaching women. However, my closing rate really sucks. On approaches, I usually get at least fifty percent of the women to give me their phone numbers, but after that I usually only get ten percent to return my call and when I go out with women I only get to second base with about one out of twenty. What am I doing wrong?

Answer: Well, it doesn’t really sound like women like you very much. It sounds like you get a high percentage of phone numbers because you are probably very aggressive and women are giving you a phone number to make you go away.

Guys who use our system run about eighty to ninety percent on each of the points you bring up: Getting phone numbers should be eighty percent of your approaches; eighty percent of the women you call should return your call, and when you go out you should reach second base with at least eighty percent of the women you go out with.

If you are not getting these kinds of results then yes, you are definitely doing something wrong. In your case, the numbers suggest you are too aggressive. You probably need to listen more and “aggress” less.

A lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that just because a woman talks to them, the woman likes them. It is especially easy to make this mistake when you are aggressive.

If you are aggressive and funny, a lot of women will talk to you because you are entertaining. Doesn’t mean they are interested in you as a boyfriend prospect. Other times, women will continue talking to an aggressive guy just to be friendly or nice.

I have seen a lot of aggressive guys monopolize a conversation (in other words, do all or most all of the talking) to the point that they don’t see or listen to what is going on. They take the fact that the girl is still there to be a signal that they are doing okay, when in fact the girl is just being nice or considers you entertaining and that is all.

Frequently these kinds of guys get lots of phone numbers but no return calls or very few dates.

These kinds of guys need to be less aggressive and learn to be a little more mellow. Just say, “Hi” to a girl and then shut up. As you converse with a girl, frequently say things then shut up. Give a girl the chance to say something to keep the conversation going or to walk away if she wants. If she stays and actually “tries” to keep the conversation going – then you know you have someone who is actually interested in you.

When you just non-stop talk, entertain, or say rude things to get a reaction, women will stay and talk or listen to you, but it is not for the reasons you think it is, and it is not because they are interested in you romantically.

So if you want to improve your percentages to the eighty to ninety percent range the first thing you will have to do is shut up and learn to listen and observe. If the woman is making an effort to keep the conversation going, if she stays and talks to you when you are just listening, then perhaps – just perhaps – she might be actually interested in you.

Mr. L. Rx

NOTE: If you would like more in depth and organized information on how to meet, attract, and have a relationship with women consider the book How I Got 700 Dates In One Year, Dating To Relating – From A To Z, or any of the other books by Mr. L. Rx.

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  • BOOK OUTLINE OF CONTENTS Introduction - 5 Foreword - 8 1) DATING - How dating Guru's strategies go wrong. - 9 2) Different men like different women. Different women require different strategies. - 10 a) My Credentials - 12 b) Relationships - The problem with Dating Gurus - 16 c) Examples of strategies and how different personalities can require completely opposite strategies - 20 3) Two basic problems -  25 a) What guys do wrong - 25 b) What people do wrong - 31 c) Shortcut Personality Theory - "Feet Angles" and Personality Types - 32 4) The Basic Solution - OBSERVATION - How to Develop strategies - 41 a) Perception channels - 41 b) Motion Toward - Motion away - 46  i) Purposes in observing Motion - 48 ii) Scale of Sexual Motion - 51 iii) Adjusting as you interact - 51 EXAMPLE 1- 52 iv) Set Patterns of Motion - 54 EXAMPLE 2 - 57 c) Gradients - 62 5) Objectives - 65 a) Get Experience - Multiple or "Serial" dating - 65 b) Sane Dating principles build sane Relationships - 67 c) Sane Dating principles can be applied to existing Relationships - 73 d) Prospecting and Qualifying- is she the girl you are looking for - 78 6) Turning "meeting" into dating relationships. - 82 a)      Creating "Future" - 82 b)      Meeting women walking down the street.- 87 c)   Meeting Women In Stores, Restaurants, Malls, etc.- 92 d)   Meeting Women Who Work In Malls, Restaurants, Stores, etc. - 97 e)      How and Where to meet women. - 100 7) Turning Dating into Relationships - 103 a) How to get a second date. - 103 b) How To Turn The second, Third and Fourth dates into a Girlfriend - 107 8) Relationships - The Different Types of Sexual Relationships 112 9) How to Create a Better Relationship - 118 a) How To Manage "Creating A Better Relationship" -123 b) Creating A Relationship - The different Types of Create and Gradients -128 c) Your Love Interest as Your Teammate - 137 10) Seduction - 142 a) The Art of Seduction - A Classic Example - 142 b) Seduction - Short and Long Term Techniques - 145 c) Seduction Qualities On A First Meeting or Date - 151 11) Alternative Relationships -- Lovers, Multiple Lovers and Arrangements - 154 12) How To Make Love To A Woman - 163 a) Foreplay - 163 b) How To Get Your Wife or Girlfriend To Want More Sex - 166 c) Male Dysfunction and Relationships - 172 d) Sexual Technique - How to make love to a woman - 175 SUMMARY - 178 APPENDIX - 179
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