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NOTE: If you would like more in depth and organized information on how to meet, attract, and have a relationship with women consider the book How I Got 700 Dates In One Year, Dating To Relating – From A To Z, or any of the other books by Mr. L. Rx.
Question: Mr. L. Rx, a lot of the Dating Gurus, like David DeAngelo, Mystery, Neil Strauss have techniques that make guys into “bad boys”, I think these techniques are disrespectful to women. Do these kinds of techniques work? Can’t you just be a good guy and get women? Or is it true that “good guys finish last?” Answer: Well, this is a very good question. The truth of the matter is there is no such thing as “women” in the manner that these other gurus talk about it. They talk about women as if they are all the same, when in actuality, there are many different types of women. There are many different personalities among women. The truth is these techniques do work, but they only work on a certain “personality type” of women. When you use these techniques on all women you will have success with a percentage – usually around ten percent – unless you find a way to place yourself in an environment where this “personality type” congregates. So, for example, there is a personality type that will tend to go to bars and clubs on a regular basis. So you might have a higher success rate than ten percent – maybe thirty or forty percent if you use a technique that works on these types in a club environment. Problem is when you are in the bookstore or in class at school, you may find the technique doesn’t work at all or works only one percent of the time. Or if you like a classy, intelligent type of woman, you may find that these types of techniques (which a lot of the gurus teach) don’t work at all. What works is understanding personality types and having a variety of techniques to handle the different personality types. When I worked bars and clubs years ago, I used four distinctly different strategies on the different personality types that I found there. Some of these strategies were the exact opposite of the other strategies. The point is all of these strategies worked, but they all worked on different types of women. If I just used one of these strategies, I would have been only successful on my approach one quarter of the time. But by having four different strategies, I got my success ratio up to ninety percent. The other difficulty is not only the percentage of success; it is the quality of success. For example, say you like the sweet “girl next door” type and the technique you learn only handles the hot man-eater type of girl that you often find in clubs. Then you will be successful, so to speak, but you will not get the type of girl that you want. This is a “quality” definition for failure not a “quantity” definition. Most of these gurus don’t even address quality failure in any other terms than whether she is physically “hot” or not. But the truth of the matter is guys don’t only want a “hot” girl, they want a “hot” girl that has a personality that they get along with. And that, my friends, is what we teach at Dating To Relating. We teach you techniques for different personality types and we teach you how to generate your own situational techniques. That is why we have ninety percent success in approaching women rather than ten percent success. So to answer your question, it is totally possible to get girls by being a “nice guy.” I have been a bad boy and had great success doing so, but personally I got tired of it because I didn’t like the personality type that it attracted. No one personality type has the corner on beauty or intelligence. There are plenty of “hot” girls that like nice guys. In fact, nice guy techniques are the only techniques that I personally use nowadays and I still close ninety percent of my approaches. And so can you. Mr. L. Rx Question: Mr. L. Rx, this girl I have been dating says she is really attracted to me physically, but she broke up with me because I don’t meet all of her needs. I don’t understand this and she won’t explain it any further. What’s going on? Answer: There are many types of attraction vectors involved in sexual relationships. Especially for women, it is not all about what you look like or sex. For example, sexual attraction can be two-way mutual sex attraction, or a one way physical attraction with another dynamic attraction factor (money, emotion, power, status, political, mental stimulation, etc.) replacing or in addition to physical attraction on the other’s part. What this girl is telling you is that physical attraction is not enough for her to get involved in a long term sexual relationship with you. I don’t know much about your situation but perhaps she is looking for an economic attraction. Some women only get involved with a boyfriend who they are attracted to and who has money enough to take care of them. Some women don’t even care if a man is physically attractive if he has money. We usually call these latter kind of women “gold diggers.” Or it could be she is looking for an emotional attraction in addition to a physical attraction. Emotional attraction can be either one-way or mutual and is usually the most compelling factor in determining relationships for both men and women. (Although men are attracted to women for other factors, usually physical, emotional factors tend to be the deal clinchers.) Emotionally, for example, we will often become attracted to a person who we know is really attracted to us because we know they will be super nice to us and treat us right. Similarly we are often attracted to people who make us feel cool, wanted, desirable, etc. Whether this feeling is generated internally (the hot girl who does absolutely nothing for you but go out and look hot in front of all your friends thereby making you look cool and desirable to others) or externally (the not so hot girl who tells you over and over again how good looking, etc. you are), we all like relating to people who make us feel good about ourselves. Other emotional attraction vectors influencing relationships involve friendship, compatibility, good communication, emotional support, and mental stimulation among others. I don’t have time to go over all of these factors here, but you should realize that it is not all about looks for women. If you want to attempt to rescue the relationship then look into some of these other areas where you may be coming up short and see if you can make any corrections. Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am not interested in getting married or having a girlfriend. Quite honestly I just want a sexual partner. What is the best line you can use to get hooked up that way with a girl?

Answer: Now this is a typical question that I get from a number of guys. I sometimes hesitate to answer this question as I do not personally believe in using people, which is what a lot of guys do who just want a sexual relationship.

In fact, most typically, a guy will simply lie to a girl, tell her whatever she wants to hear – I love you, I want to get married someday, etc. – just to get sex.

It is my observation that the idea that guys can’t commit is a fallacy that stems from guys lying to girls just to get sex. In actuality I believe that guys are more inclined to commit to a relationship then women are. It is just that guys need sex so bad, they compromise their integrity and get involved with women they are really not interested in – just to get sex – and that is the reason for the “myth” that guys can’t commit.

Believe me, when a guy is really interested in a girl, he won’t have any problem committing and he will probably want to do it way before she is ready.

But to answer the question honestly I will give you guys a piece of advice that an “older man” gave me when I was about 25. (He was 30.) He told me that he had lied, lied and lied in order to try to get women to give him sex all his life. But in the end he was a miserable failure. Not many women wanted to have sex with him at all. So then one day, he got tired of lying and deceit and just decided to tell the truth. And suddenly he started having success with women.

He would tell them things like: He couldn’t be trusted; he would cheat on them without a doubt; he would lie to them all the time; etc.

And after telling them all this they would still have sex with him. Out of his experiences, he evolved a maxim: The best lie is the truth.

This is the maxim that he taught me when I was 25. When I got divorced shortly afterwards, I remembered the maxim and never lied to anyone. I always told the truth and never had any problem getting someone to accept me for just a sexual relationship.

Why is that? Why does this maxim work?

Well no one likes being lied to and manipulated. And when you attempt to do that, it is either obvious you are lying ( this is true for most people, hence the poor success rate with lies) or you get caught sooner or later and dumped.

But when you tell the truth you will discover that yes, you will loose a few women who aren’t interested in the same thing you are, but you will also discover that there are plenty of women, who are interested in the same thing as you.

A relationship built on truth will not be harmful to either party and will be a much better experience then trying to trick some poor girl into a sexual relationship by lying to her and telling her you love her and are interested in marriage when you aren’t.

So the moral to this story and the answer to your question is that the “best line” is the truth. Tell women exactly what you are looking for and you will stand your best chance for success.

Mr. L. Rx

NOTE: If you would like more in depth and organized information on how to meet, attract, and have a relationship with women consider the book How I Got 700 Dates In One Year, Dating To Relating – From A To Z, or any of the other books by Mr. L. Rx.

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