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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I never know what is going on in a relationship. I think things are going fine, then the girl leaves me. Or I am worried and there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong. How do you tell what is really going on in a relationship? Answer: If you want to know what is going on in a relationship you have to learn to observe motion. There are only three basic motions a person can exhibit with respect to you. 1) Move toward you, 2) move away from you, and 3) stay in the same place with respect to you (no motion). Now when I talk about motion with respect to a man/woman relationship I am talking about motion towards you in many ways, like: 1) physically (a women moves closer to you, touches you, etc.) 2) mentally (agreement would be a motion toward, disagreement a motion away) 3) emotionally (liking you and feeling comfortable would be a motion toward and disliking you, feeling uncomfortable with you would be a motion away) 4) communicatively (wanting to talk to you would be a motion toward, not wanting to talk to you would be a motion away). These are the statistics that you use to manage your relationship. You watch and observe what she is doing and the direction of her motion. If she wants less sex, she is moving away. If she doesn’t talk to you as much, she is moving away. If she is getting bored with you, when she use to be enthralled she is moving away. If she wants “to talk” about things (guys hate this), this is good. She hasn’t given up, she is still moving toward you. If she asks you to go shopping with her (guys hate this too) she is moving toward you. Now what do you do about it? Real simple – observe what makes her move toward you, create more of that. Observe what makes her move away from you and stop doing that. Now if you just do those two simple actions on a daily basis, you can make any relationship better and continue to grow and you can repair a relationship that has gone astray. Don’t put your feelings about things above your observations. It does not matter what you feel is good, should be good, or should work, etc. OBSERVE what makes her move toward you on the vector you are working on – physical, emotional, communication, mental – and CREATE more of that. OBSERVE what makes her move away and STOP doing that. The only other thing you will have to take into account in all of this, is your personal integrity. Sometimes when you start to really observe people and see what makes them move toward you, or away from you, you get into a conflict of values, interests, opinions, etc. You may find yourself in a position that you don’t want to do the things that work and make her move toward you, and she doesn’t want to do the things that you would like to do to make her move toward you. When you find yourself in that position, you are perhaps in the wrong relationship and should sit down and really discuss your values and where each of you want to go with your lives and your relationship to see if it is worth continuing. Mr. L. Rx
Question: Mr. L. Rx, you talk about using “gradients” a lot in your writings. Can you give me an example of how to use gradients to approach a woman? Answer: Yes, here is an example: I use to feel uncomfortable approaching women. I felt like walking up to an attractive woman and saying “Wow, are you hot or what?” or “Will you marry me?” or “I’m in love.” Or “Hey, I just saw you over there and I’m really attracted to you.” Now before I really looked at it I thought the sequence of approach was something like this: 1) First step – You have to approach the girl or she is gone forever and you lose. 2) Second step – You have to tell her you are attracted to her or you won’t be able to create the chance of seeing her again. Problem is I either couldn’t bring myself to do it, too shy, too insecure about my self, or I got drunk and did it and got shot down 90% of the time. So after a while, I would just let the opportunity pass. One day I finally sat down and applied gradients to the situation. I figured out that the real problem was I was uncomfortable with telling a hot girl exactly how much I liked her because I didn’t want to face the rejection (especially in front of other people) if she responded negatively. Then I figured out a way that I didn’t have to say these higher gradient things (such as “I love you” or “you are so hot”) on the approach. So let’s look at the sequence of events in this situation which added some gradient steps between 1 and 2 above. 1) First step – You have to approach the girl or she is gone forever and you lose. 2) Second step – You have to say something to her or someway attempt to engage her in a conversation as she probably won’t do it herself. 3) Third step – Say something neutral that will not embarrass you or be obvious to people around that you are hitting on her. 4) Watch her response – does she try to keep the conversation going? 5) If she doesn’t, let her go – no harm no foul – nothing to be embarrassed about after all you just asked her for the time. But if she keeps the conversation going and appears to be interested in doing so go to next step. 6) Keep the conversation going myself. At some point, add a slight “flirt” and see how she responds – something like “Wow, you have really pretty eyes.” 7) If the slight flirt doesn’t push her away, take it to the next level. Tell her she is an interesting person and you would like to talk to her some more but you have to go. Get her phone number and/or email. 8 ) You have achieved step 2 (letting her know you are attracted to her)in the first example above because women are used to subtle communications, and she now knows you are interested in her and thinks you are really cool because you did it in normal way (not the usual guy way – “Wow, you are so beautiful!”) With this one observation I worked out a gradient strategy that forever handled my uncomfortable feelings and shyness. My shyness was really about me not wanting to look stupid by getting shot down by some girl in front of other people. When I used a gradient approach it eliminated what I was really afraid of – looking stupid by putting my heart on my sleeve and having some girl stomp all over it. So my best pick up line became and still is today, guys, “Hi!” Mr. L. Rx Question: What are some of the mistakes guys make trying to create a relationship? Answer: When we talk about CREATING a relationship, we are talking about making a relationship better – more fun, more products, more togetherness, etc. And when you DON’T create a relationship the opposite happens – whether you like it or not – and there will be less fun, less togetherness, less products, etc. NOW, selecting the right person to establish a relationship with has a lot to do with it. Because you can unfortunately get with the wrong person who will not CREATE the relationship or try to make it any better. But qualifying a person for a relationship is another technology and I address that in other places, and falls more under DATING technology than RELATING technology. All of this actually goes back to INTEGRITY and QUALIFYING. When DATING – Never, never, NEVER do things that you really DON’T want to do. If you don’t like giving a girl flowers – DON’T – find a girl who doesn’t like flowers. If you don’t like opening car doors for a woman and being a gentleman, then don’t be one. FIND a girl who is liberated and doesn’t want a man to do that. If your idea of romance that you can CREATE is going camping and fishing, then find a girl who thinks that is ROMANTIC too. Believe it or not, guys, there is a girl who is just right for you. I know because I am the guy who went out on 700 dates in a year and talked to an awful lot of women. YOU don’t have to compromise your integrity to get a relationship with a woman. SO the first mistake here on CREATING relationships with women is NOT FINDING the right woman for you in the first place. The second mistake is to compromise your integrity and start doing things “to get the woman” that you aren’t going to be able to continue to do AFTER you get her. The third mistake is to STOP doing the things which got you the girl in the first place. WHATEVER got you the girl, will continue to get you the girl (with a few exceptions I won’t get in to now). But you are going to have to be a little creative and figure out NEW ways to do it so it doesn’t become routine and boring. SO, if you went dancing with the girl once a week when you were courting her (and she loved it) continue to go dancing with her once a week when you are married, even when you have children – hire a baby sitter. Romance your wife. But you may need to vary it – dance with her after a romantic dinner at home. Take her to new and exciting dance places. Take dance lessons with her. Get the idea. There are probably dozens of little things (or big things) like this you did to get her. CONTINUE to do them. Do them better. Find new ways of doing them. And find new ways to attract her. You are going to have to do this continuously, and if you want to keep her for the rest of your life, then you are going to have to do this for the rest of your life. Mr. L. Rx

Category:

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I never know what is going on in a relationship. I think things are going fine, then the girl leaves me. Or I am worried and there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong. How do you tell what is really going on in a relationship?

Answer: If you want to know what is going on in a relationship you have to learn to observe motion.

There are only three basic motions a person can exhibit with respect to you. 1) Move toward you, 2) move away from you, and 3) stay in the same place with respect to you (no motion).

Now when I talk about motion with respect to a man/woman relationship I am talking about motion towards you in many ways, like:

1) physically (a women moves closer to you, touches you, etc.)

2) mentally (agreement would be a motion toward, disagreement a motion away)

3) emotionally (liking you and feeling comfortable would be a motion toward and disliking you, feeling uncomfortable with you would be a motion away)

4) communicatively (wanting to talk to you would be a motion toward, not wanting to talk to you would be a motion away).

These are the statistics that you use to manage your relationship. You watch and observe what she is doing and the direction of her motion.

If she wants less sex, she is moving away. If she doesn’t talk to you as much, she is moving away. If she is getting bored with you, when she use to be enthralled she is moving away.

If she wants “to talk” about things (guys hate this), this is good. She hasn’t given up, she is still moving toward you. If she asks you to go shopping with her (guys hate this too) she is moving toward you.

Now what do you do about it?

Real simple – observe what makes her move toward you, create more of that. Observe what makes her move away from you and stop doing that.

Now if you just do those two simple actions on a daily basis, you can make any relationship better and continue to grow and you can repair a relationship that has gone astray.

Don’t put your feelings about things above your observations. It does not matter what you feel is good, should be good, or should work, etc. OBSERVE what makes her move toward you on the vector you are working on – physical, emotional, communication, mental – and CREATE more of that. OBSERVE what makes her move away and STOP doing that.

The only other thing you will have to take into account in all of this, is your personal integrity. Sometimes when you start to really observe people and see what makes them move toward you, or away from you, you get into a conflict of values, interests, opinions, etc.

You may find yourself in a position that you don’t want to do the things that work and make her move toward you, and she doesn’t want to do the things that you would like to do to make her move toward you.

When you find yourself in that position, you are perhaps in the wrong relationship and should sit down and really discuss your values and where each of you want to go with your lives and your relationship to see if it is worth continuing.

Mr. L. Rx

NOTE: If you would like more in depth and organized information on how to meet, attract, and have a relationship with women consider the book How I Got 700 Dates In One Year, Dating To Relating – From A To Z, or any of the other books by Mr. L. Rx.

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  • BOOK OUTLINE OF CONTENTS Introduction - 5 Foreword - 8 1) DATING - How dating Guru's strategies go wrong. - 9 2) Different men like different women. Different women require different strategies. - 10 a) My Credentials - 12 b) Relationships - The problem with Dating Gurus - 16 c) Examples of strategies and how different personalities can require completely opposite strategies - 20 3) Two basic problems -  25 a) What guys do wrong - 25 b) What people do wrong - 31 c) Shortcut Personality Theory - "Feet Angles" and Personality Types - 32 4) The Basic Solution - OBSERVATION - How to Develop strategies - 41 a) Perception channels - 41 b) Motion Toward - Motion away - 46  i) Purposes in observing Motion - 48 ii) Scale of Sexual Motion - 51 iii) Adjusting as you interact - 51 EXAMPLE 1- 52 iv) Set Patterns of Motion - 54 EXAMPLE 2 - 57 c) Gradients - 62 5) Objectives - 65 a) Get Experience - Multiple or "Serial" dating - 65 b) Sane Dating principles build sane Relationships - 67 c) Sane Dating principles can be applied to existing Relationships - 73 d) Prospecting and Qualifying- is she the girl you are looking for - 78 6) Turning "meeting" into dating relationships. - 82 a)      Creating "Future" - 82 b)      Meeting women walking down the street.- 87 c)   Meeting Women In Stores, Restaurants, Malls, etc.- 92 d)   Meeting Women Who Work In Malls, Restaurants, Stores, etc. - 97 e)      How and Where to meet women. - 100 7) Turning Dating into Relationships - 103 a) How to get a second date. - 103 b) How To Turn The second, Third and Fourth dates into a Girlfriend - 107 8) Relationships - The Different Types of Sexual Relationships 112 9) How to Create a Better Relationship - 118 a) How To Manage "Creating A Better Relationship" -123 b) Creating A Relationship - The different Types of Create and Gradients -128 c) Your Love Interest as Your Teammate - 137 10) Seduction - 142 a) The Art of Seduction - A Classic Example - 142 b) Seduction - Short and Long Term Techniques - 145 c) Seduction Qualities On A First Meeting or Date - 151 11) Alternative Relationships -- Lovers, Multiple Lovers and Arrangements - 154 12) How To Make Love To A Woman - 163 a) Foreplay - 163 b) How To Get Your Wife or Girlfriend To Want More Sex - 166 c) Male Dysfunction and Relationships - 172 d) Sexual Technique - How to make love to a woman - 175 SUMMARY - 178 APPENDIX - 179
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