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Question: How do I meet, attract, and relate to women sexually?

Answer: A lot of guys think that foreplay is having to kiss your girlfriend or wife before she lets you have intercourse. Well a lot of guys think they are great lovers, but a lot of women have other thoughts about that…. I have different thoughts about foreplay.

Foreplay, what is that? Good question.

Foreplay is whatever creates a little sex flow between you and your girl and holds it there in place so she and you can think about it and enjoy the build up and anticipation of what is eventually to come.

Another way of saying it is that foreplay is what “gets you or your partner ready” for the sex act. Since guys are just about biologically ready for the sex act “all the time”, guys seem to forget the value of foreplay, after all, it is something they have to do for someone else — not themselves.

Bad way of looking at it. Why? Foreplay is not just for established couples already having sex. Foreplay is what prepares a woman to have sex with you. Hence, any woman you would like to have sex with that you are NOT having sex with would require foreplay.

So foreplay has a role in meeting women, attracting women, picking up women, dating women, having a relationship with women, and making love to women.

Flirting is foreplay….

I got married at 22 to my first girlfriend, and though I had sex for 5 or 6 years before we got divorced, I never actually made love until after I broke up with and divorced my wife. Why? We were both pretty inexperienced. Looking back, we had plenty of sex, but hardly any foreplay. The first time I actually made love, I was seduced. And there was hours and hours of foreplay.

So after getting divorced, I stood around bars and clubs nightly for a month or two. After a while I started learning a few things. Then I started having sex daily (one night standers) with different women. (This was the 70’s — free love — pre-AIDS.) Man, did I get a lot of experience then. These woman taught me stuff. Stuff, I didn’t know, but now do.

One of the things I learned is that women like and need foreplay to enjoy sex. And apparently it made it a whole lot better for me too!

A Woman’s, unlike a man’s , sexual organ takes a while to physically respond to sexual stimuli and urges. Men can be ready in a minute, women take a little longer. But mentally I think men and woman are more even. Foreplay can mentally prepare either sex in such a way as to make the love making experience a whole lot better.

I feel that usually at least an hour of bedroom foreplay is a minimal amount of time to prepare myself and a woman both mentally and physically for the sex act.

But foreplay can go on longer than that….

The best kind of foreplay is Romance….you know, shopping with your girl in the mall, holding hands as you walk, having a sexy conversation and flirtation at lunch. Little kisses and touches throughout the day. Getting so turned on that you both can’t wait to go home.

Foreplay can go on for hours and hours and hours.

When you are in the bedroom, foreplay is kissing and kissing and kissing, touching, touching and touching. It can be role playing, talking about your fantasies, taking a bath or shower together, feeding each other, or watching sexy movies, or whatever other little sexy games you are into, if you are into that.

So how do you know when it is the right time to end the foreplay and start in on the sex act itself? Well, when you are young and stupid, you don’t think about anyone but yourself. You start kissing your girl and a minute later you have an erection. Two minutes later you have her clothes off and you are trying to stick it in. Why? Because your thought is “If I’m feeling it, she must be feeling it too. See she’s kissing me passionately isn’t she? She must be feeling it.” But, when you try to put it in, it won’t go, so she offers to get out the old lubricant. She does and 10 minutes later it is all over. “I didn’t have an orgasm,” she complains. “You want me to do something?” you ask, even though you are really no longer interested. “Never mind,” she says.

It is a shame how many women out there have never been made love to properly. It is amazing how many women think that lubricant is normal, have never had a vaginal orgasm, or have never experienced multiple orgasms.

MEN, good sex for woman starts with FOREPLAY. Consider this your call to duty!

So, here are some basic principles for guys in relationships (if you want to know how to use foreplay to meet and attract and pick up women, see some of my other articles):

1) Always devote at least an hour to foreplay when you are in the bedroom. And use romance as foreplay throughout the week, days, and hours leading up to the bedroom. Women like to talk. Talking (and you listening) can be a very sexy foreplay for a woman.

2) Never, never, never, try to have intercourse with a woman until her private parts are soaking wet with anticipation. If she is not wet, she is not ready. She needs more foreplay. (And actually even if she is soaking wet, she probably still wants more.)

3) Always, always, always make sure your girl has an orgasm before you do. Why? Because it is no fun having sex with someone who only takes care of themselves and then is too tired to do anything about you. If your girl has multiple orgasms then she might need to orgasm two, three or four times before you do. If you don’t know what multiple orgasms are then try some more foreplay and look up “tantra technique” on the internet. Not all women have multiple orgasms, but if you do your part right, most are capable of it.

Now these are generalizations, there are exceptions to the things I have written here. (For example, there is a small percentage of women who always need lubricant because of a medical condition.) But, if you know anything about my philosophy, from my other in depth writing, you know I am totally into situational technique. But the above is fairly consistent for about 80% of women I’ve experienced.

NOTE: If you would like more in depth and organized information on how to meet, attract, and have a relationship with women consider the book How I Got 700 Dates In One Year, Dating To Relating – From A To Z, or any of the other books by Mr. L. Rx

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  • Question: Do You Know How To Get A Second Date With A Woman? Answer: Ninety percent of the women I go out with on a first date, want to have a sexual relationship with me by the end of the date. So guys have asked me, "What is the biggest mistake guys make on the first date that prevents ever having a second date or developing a sexual relationship (rather than a friendship)?" Well there are several mistakes a guy can make. Let me summarize them here then go into more detail. MISTAKES ARE: 1)      Talking about yourself too much. Trying to be interesting instead of INTERESTED. 2)      NOT ASKING QUESTIONS AND NOT LISTENING ENOUGH. 3)      FOCUSING TOO MUCH ON SEX-- either overtly or by innuendo. 4)      NOT USING SUBTLETIES ENOUGH (What a woman understands). 5)      NOT DEVELOPING SEXUAL FLOW OR INTEREST. 6)      NOT CREATING FUTURE. (A relationship is ALL about FUTURE.) The first mistake that most guys make is that they go on the first date and talk all about themselves, sort of strut around telling the girl that he's got this car, and he's got this job and he talks and talks and talks, bragging about this and that, trying to impress the girl that he is a good catch. What a girl sees is a self-centered ego maniac that isn't going to be able to take care of her at all, because he is not interested in her and doesn't listen to what she has to say. Not a good relationship prospect. Another way of saying it is that guys try to be interesting. They figure they have to be interesting for a girl to be interested in them. Sorry guys, but it doesn't work that way. You have to be INTERESTED in the girl, not INTERESTING to get her attention. Did you ever see two interesting people on a date. It is hilarious!  They are both so busy trying to be interesting to the other that neither has time to be interested in the other. If you don't know what I am talking about, think what makes you feel better, a girl who is INTERESTED in you? or a girl who is telling you how cool she is, how hot she is, etc. and all kinds of other INTERESTING things? INTERESTING leads to a lot of rejection and "platonic" friendships by the way. Girls will be friends with a guy who is really interesting. Why? Girls like to be amused and entertained. Interesting men are sort of like children to them. A source of non-sexual amusement and pleasure. Then there are the guys who are SCARED S***less and don't know what to say. So they say all kinds of useless and banal and irrelevant stuff to again be INTERESTING to the girl. Then there are guys who dread silence. So whenever there is a silent moment they feel awkward and have to fill the silence with some noise, so they open their mouths and say something trite and banal again just to keep the conversation going and again to be INTERESTING to the girl. THEY AREN'T. You don't have to fill silence with verbal chatter. Maybe it is a good time for some non-verbal communication like a smile, or a light touch. 90% of the girls I have a first date with want to go out with me again and have a relationship with me. WHY, well the biggest factor is I am INTERESTED in getting to know them. So I never come scripted, I am always just there and I ask questions designed  to get to know the person in front of me. THE SECRET: Well, I just said part of it, so here is all of it, I AM INTERESTED. I ASK QUESTIONS and then I LISTEN TO THE ANSWERS. Based on the answer they give, I may ask another question or I might say something that I know they would be interested in knowing because of what they just said. MOST of the time I spend about 80% of my time on a date LISTENING. Girls like that. ANOTHER BIG MISTAKE GUYS MAKE that prevents a second date is putting too much conversation attention on sex, sexual topics, sexual innuendos, and her looks. ALL WOMEN THINK that ALL GUYS JUST WANT SEX. So basically, they are right and guys have to realize that girls have our number and are not impressed by it. GIRLS already KNOW you want sex. She wouldn't even be there on the first date, if she weren't vaguely OK with the concept of having sex with you. What she wants to know is: WHAT ELSE do you want? What ELSE do you like about her? What ELSE can you do for her? What ELSE do you have in common with her? How ELSE can you have fun together? So, LISTEN to what she talks about, because if you listen you will get clues. GIRLS communicate in SUBTLETIES and like to be communicated to with SUBTLETIES. As a rule I NEVER tell a good looking woman she is good looking until the 3rd or 4th date.  That is a subtle communication that tells her that I am not like all the other guys who kiss her behind. So, you see,  you don't have to tell a woman how pretty she is on a first date. (Especially if she is gorgeous, because she gets so much of this so often, it actually becomes a turn-off to her.) You can compliment her on her dress, or her shoes, or you can say she has a nice personality (find something non-sexual you like about her and compliment it) or you could say (but only once and non-repetitively) she has pretty eyes, or a cute nose, or a nice smile, or she has pretty hands. (Always pick a non-sexual part of the body to compliment) So if you don't talk about yourself and sex. What DO you talk about? Talk about whatever the girl wants to talk about. LISTEN, and base your conversation off of what she is interested in.  Ask questions about her . BUT you should have two goals for the night.. 1) DEVELOPING SEXUAL FLOW OR INTEREST. Now you don't want to TALK about SEXUAL stuff too much, but that does not mean you don't want to get the old sexual juices going. BUT you do that mostly non-verbally, (Unless she starts a sexual conversation with you.) Now some of the DATING GURUS have real good courses on how a man can be sexy and get a woman's attention sexually. (David DeAngelo's course comes to mind.) And this is an in depth topic that is much too deep for my article here. So let's just say it is done with posture, manners, attitude, movement, voice rhythms, and the occasional moving in close and the withdrawing, or light touch or holding of the hand momentarily. Verbally it is done with the right gradient of topic. If you do it right the woman will always give you a goodnight kiss as a way of further testing that sector out, and let you know by her non-verbal signals, whether you should continue or just let it go with a simple light kiss. It is better to develop it, make the woman want more, and walk away than to overreach and destroy everything else you have built up here. A simple hug, or a light kiss or the cheek or the mouth is what I do on 90% of my first dates that I am interested in. 2) CREATE FUTURE What is future? Well if you are going to have a relationship with someone, rather than just a one-date-goodbye. You have to have some future interaction. AND FUTURE IS NOT "Can we go out again sometime?" That is definitely NOT FUTURE. That is a plea! Begging! And this will definitely scare them away. (Watch "Blind Date" on TV some time.) Future is scheduling something that you both would be interested in doing for whatever reasons, sometime in the future. Something with value to both of you. YOU may want to have SEX with the girl right away in the future.. BUT SHE DOESN'T- not yet.. She wants to get to know you a little better. So FUTURE is a way that she can get to know you a little better, before deciding if she wants to have a sexual relationship with you or not. GIRLS LIKE THAT. And girls like guys who understand that. YOU SEE the girl wouldn't go out on the first date with you if there weren't some possibility that she could have sex with you. (BEING THERE is a subtle communication. She wouldn't be there if she wasn't somewhat interested.) So, unless you blow it, you will get sex eventually. HOWEVER, most guys DO blow it 9 out of 10 times instead of closing as I do 9 out of 10 times. So how to create FUTURE? Well on a date it is relatively easy. APPLY what I have said above. ASK QUESTIONS and LISTEN. She will tell you something that gives you a subtle opportunity to see her again, and it should be something she would be really interested in and it won't scare her off. EXAMPLE OF WHAT WORKS: While you are listening she talks about the math class she is taking in college she is having trouble with. You happen to be a math genius. You simply say, "Well I am really good at math. If you would like some help with your homework, let me know." Then shut up. If she is interested in you, she will take the bait and say, "Yeah, oh I would so appreciate that" or something of the sort. If you have totally blown it by now and she doesn't want your help despite her learning disability, she won't take the bait. THAT WON'T HAPPEN unless you violated something else I have talked about here, and you talked about yourself too much, tried to be interesting, didn't listen, talked about sex or how pretty she was too much. Another example is, while you are listening she says how she really likes to go dancing. So if you like dancing you say "Really? Me too. I love dancing, let's do that sometime." Or if you don't like to dance, don't lie. Say, "Really? Then maybe you could help me because I don't know a thing about dancing but I think it's time I learned. Do you think you could teach me a little sometime?" GET IT? Come up with something you guys could do in the future that she and you would really like to do, that's not a plea, "Can we go out again?" By the way FUTURE is the key to meeting girls on the street, in the store, etc. Lots of girls will give you their phone numbers but about 90% of the beautiful women I know say they would never have a relationship with someone they met that way. BUT if you can establish FUTURE right there on the street or on the first call you can destroy those odds. And REMEMBER FUTURE is NOT, "Can we go out sometime?" To a woman that just means you want sex, and you are asking for it before you have established any other value to her. You see, meeting girls who work in stores or restaurants is easier than stopping them on the street, because the situation already has future built in.. you know where they work, you can come back again and again, she can get to know you ..FUTURE you see. But, stopping a girl on the street and establishing FUTURE. Now that can be a challenge.. But, I've done it. Many times. You apply the same principles above. Don't talk about yourself. Be interested in her. Ask questions. Listen to the answers. When she says the opportune thing that you can tell has value to her then jump right in with some FUTURE. Mr. L. Rx.

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  • BOOK OUTLINE OF CONTENTS Introduction - 5 Foreword - 8 1) DATING - How dating Guru's strategies go wrong. - 9 2) Different men like different women. Different women require different strategies. - 10 a) My Credentials - 12 b) Relationships - The problem with Dating Gurus - 16 c) Examples of strategies and how different personalities can require completely opposite strategies - 20 3) Two basic problems -  25 a) What guys do wrong - 25 b) What people do wrong - 31 c) Shortcut Personality Theory - "Feet Angles" and Personality Types - 32 4) The Basic Solution - OBSERVATION - How to Develop strategies - 41 a) Perception channels - 41 b) Motion Toward - Motion away - 46  i) Purposes in observing Motion - 48 ii) Scale of Sexual Motion - 51 iii) Adjusting as you interact - 51 EXAMPLE 1- 52 iv) Set Patterns of Motion - 54 EXAMPLE 2 - 57 c) Gradients - 62 5) Objectives - 65 a) Get Experience - Multiple or "Serial" dating - 65 b) Sane Dating principles build sane Relationships - 67 c) Sane Dating principles can be applied to existing Relationships - 73 d) Prospecting and Qualifying- is she the girl you are looking for - 78 6) Turning "meeting" into dating relationships. - 82 a)      Creating "Future" - 82 b)      Meeting women walking down the street.- 87 c)   Meeting Women In Stores, Restaurants, Malls, etc.- 92 d)   Meeting Women Who Work In Malls, Restaurants, Stores, etc. - 97 e)      How and Where to meet women. - 100 7) Turning Dating into Relationships - 103 a) How to get a second date. - 103 b) How To Turn The second, Third and Fourth dates into a Girlfriend - 107 8) Relationships - The Different Types of Sexual Relationships 112 9) How to Create a Better Relationship - 118 a) How To Manage "Creating A Better Relationship" -123 b) Creating A Relationship - The different Types of Create and Gradients -128 c) Your Love Interest as Your Teammate - 137 10) Seduction - 142 a) The Art of Seduction - A Classic Example - 142 b) Seduction - Short and Long Term Techniques - 145 c) Seduction Qualities On A First Meeting or Date - 151 11) Alternative Relationships -- Lovers, Multiple Lovers and Arrangements - 154 12) How To Make Love To A Woman - 163 a) Foreplay - 163 b) How To Get Your Wife or Girlfriend To Want More Sex - 166 c) Male Dysfunction and Relationships - 172 d) Sexual Technique - How to make love to a woman - 175 SUMMARY - 178 APPENDIX - 179
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