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Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am attracted to this girl at the campus store. She is really hot. But she is really cold to me. I don’t think she has a boyfriend, but whenever I say, “Hi,” with a big smile, it doesn’t work. She just gives me a cold stare and says, “How can I help you?” What do I do? Answer: Well, if you have been following my writing, you would know that my recurring theme is that people have different personalities and different personalities require different approaches. A “Hi” with a smile might work on most people but it won’t work on all personalities. When I was a young man I did door to door sales. “Hi” with a big smile and a funny joke is how I opened most conversations door to door. It worked like a charm in middle class neighborhoods. One day, however, they dropped me in an upper middle class neighborhood. And I was shocked. My “Hi” with a big smile got me a lot of “fear” reactions with doors slammed quickly in my face. These were upper middle class very-good-looking women that were doing the door-slamming fear-reaction. I was a skilled salesman by this time however as I had started door to door sales at eleven years old. I learned quickly to “mimic” people when I didn’t have the right presentation or my presentation or personality wasn’t doing well. So I quickly changed my strategy with these upper middle class “hot” housewives and I mimicked their style. Instead of a “Hi” and a smile, I said “Hi” and told them the same joke but in a very “dry” deadpan manner with absolutely no smile or expression at all. Instead of slamming the door in my face, they all laughed at my joke, opened the door and invited me in. You see, to some personalities, and in some environments, a “smiling face” is not to be trusted. I have even used the same strategy when approaching women in stores or on the street, such as in your situation. For example, there was this woman who was really hot ( like a 9.5/10) that worked at a Louis Vuitton store in the mall. I went by and targeted her for a slow multiple-come-back approach. I initially approached her with a smile and a “Hi” and friendly conversation (which works on most mall store employees). She talked to me but was very cold and not friendly at all. After about three times, I realized she was not the right personality type for that approach and I changed to my deadpan “humor’ with no smile. I caught her out in front of a “fast food” place eating a cheap burrito or something and said in my best deadpan voice, with no smile and an extremely deadpan expression, “So that’s how you spend your time, huh, eating cheap burritos.” She laughed and laughed and laughed. And the next time I walked into her store she was all over me with conversation. She would practically tell me her life story when I would go into the store. Best of all, she asked me out, after a couple of more visits. She also changed her attitude. I didn’t have to keep up the deadpan stuff. I was able to go back to being cheerful with a smile. But not all personalities are like that. Some women you have to keep up the deadpan routine forever. (Like the upper middle class housewives, for instance.) In this case, however, she was one of those really hot women who just didn’t trust “smiling” men who approach them. So she had her defenses up but this wasn’t really her personality. Once I got past that point with the deadpan routine, I could put the smile back on and she could be herself. Like I said, everyone is different. The way you figure it out is with a lot of experience and a lot of keen observation. And if you are short on experience and observation, then get yourself a copy of “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”. Mr. L. Rx

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Question: Mr. L. Rx, how do you talk to women in order to attract them? Answer: Now, I have a question for you. What do you mean by talk? Do you mean actual communication? Communication is talk that results in someone understanding what you are saying, from your point of view. But there is another type of talk. Talk aimed at producing a result. It is aimed at getting someone to do something or it is aimed at creating an effect on someone. We don’t really care if the person understands our viewpoint as long as what we said gets them to do or be or have whatever it is we want them to do or be or have. Any parent knows that if you tell a two year old “not” to do something, he will do it. So that is the type of talk we are referring to with this definition. It doesn’t require understanding. It is just a matter of what we say produces the desired effect on another. Casual talk on the other hand, doesn’t have much to do with understanding, or a particular desired effect. (Unless we say that the desired effect is a pleasant time while conversing with another.) Casual talk is just something to do to take up time; it can be interesting and entertaining even, but not much to do with understanding or a desired effect on another outside of a pleasant time conversing. Then there are those people who talk to achieve emotional release. They talk about something that is bothering them for a while and they feel better and get an emotional release. They again are not looking for any type of understanding, or to create a desired effect on another, or to have a pleasant time with another. They just want someone who will listen long enough so they can get an emotional release. So right there we have at least four different purposes to or types of “talk.” Now oddly enough, personality factors intersect with these various different types of talk, because some personalities specialize in one of the types of talk more than the others. We all have the friend who just talks and talks about their problem trying to achieve some emotional release. They don’t want your advice or attempts to solve their problem. They just need to talk. We all have the buddies that we can just shoot the breeze with. Nothing in particular to talk about. Just pleasant conversation. And we all have good and bad experiences with people who say things in order to get us to react in one way or another. Now here is where personality comes in again. Obviously if you were talking to a woman who was a personality type that specialized in emotional release – you would attract her by listening to her unburden herself and achieve emotional release. If you were talking to a personality type that just like to have a pleasant time – then chatting in a pleasant way about nothing in particular would score you big points. Just don’t bring that conversation into “unpleasant” realms and you will do just fine on “attraction”. Now if you are with the type of personality that needs to create effects on you or needs an effect created on herself, then let them do so or do so to them and you will do fine on the attraction vector. And if you are with the type of women who longs for understanding and being understood, then achieve understanding in your conversation and you will achieve attraction. Mr. L. Rx Question: Mr. L. Rx, I saw a video in which a guy got a girl’s phone number in five minutes. But it is one of the guys you say are “ten percenters”. What do you mean by that? Answer: Without naming names, a lot of the men’s dating gurus just give you strategies that will work “ten percent” of the time. (And when I say “ten percent” I don’t mean that literally. It could be twenty percent or one percent or thirty percent. What I mean is they don’t get the eighty to ninety percent results that we do.) I saw a video the other day myself. In it a guy approached a woman, told her how he found her very attractive and asked for her phone number so they could talk some more. He was polite, friendly and he got it. Now, the problem with this video is you don’t know how many girls he had to approach to find one that this would work on and you don’t know what happened afterwards. There was even a major dating guru site that just came out with a book on how to approach women in the daytime, on the street, etc. I bought it and read it. It is the same thing as the video – memorized lines and strategies that won’t yield any better results than ten percent. I have friends who do this kind of stuff all the time for years. They are very skilled at being friendly and all and getting phone numbers. You would think they were successful, but the bottom line is, it is a numbers game for them. They approach ten women, say the same things and get one phone number. What you don’t see is that afterwards they only get perhaps just a third of the girls who will return their calls. And after that, only another one out of ten will go out with them. Then when they manage to get a date, only one out of ten will go on a second date with them. Now, as poor a system as this is, for a lonely guy who has nothing going on this is a godsend. If you just keep at it, the numbers are eventually in your favor and you will get dates and perhaps even a girlfriend sooner or later. At Dating To Relating, we don’t use number games. We teach guys how to communicate and how to recognize differences in personalities. We teach guys how to be situational. We teach guys how to be successful being themselves, not robots. Guys trained by us do not have to use memorized lines. They can think on their feet and come up with situationally appropriate conversation. Guys that we train can approach ten women and get eight phone numbers. They can expect eight out of ten of those women to respond to their phone call when they make it. And they can expect eight out of ten of those women to go on dates with them and they can expect eight out of ten of those first dates to go on a second, third, fourth date with them. Anybody can come up with some smooth memorized talk to get a phone number or date, but turning those situations into relationships takes a little more than memorized lines. That is what we teach you and that is why we call it DATING to RELATING. Mr. L. Rx

Category:

Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am attracted to this girl at the campus store. She is really hot. But she is really cold to me. I don’t think she has a boyfriend, but whenever I say, “Hi,” with a big smile, it doesn’t work. She just gives me a cold stare and says, “How can I help you?” What do I do?

Answer: Well, if you have been following my writing, you would know that my recurring theme is that people have different personalities and different personalities require different approaches.

A “Hi” with a smile might work on most people but it won’t work on all personalities. When I was a young man I did door to door sales. “Hi” with a big smile and a funny joke is how I opened most conversations door to door. It worked like a charm in middle class neighborhoods.

One day, however, they dropped me in an upper middle class neighborhood. And I was shocked. My “Hi” with a big smile got me a lot of “fear” reactions with doors slammed quickly in my face. These were upper middle class very-good-looking women that were doing the door-slamming fear-reaction.

I was a skilled salesman by this time however as I had started door to door sales at eleven years old. I learned quickly to “mimic” people when I didn’t have the right presentation or my presentation or personality wasn’t doing well.

So I quickly changed my strategy with these upper middle class “hot” housewives and I mimicked their style. Instead of a “Hi” and a smile, I said “Hi” and told them the same joke but in a very “dry” deadpan manner with absolutely no smile or expression at all.

Instead of slamming the door in my face, they all laughed at my joke, opened the door and invited me in. You see, to some personalities, and in some environments, a “smiling face” is not to be trusted.

I have even used the same strategy when approaching women in stores or on the street, such as in your situation. For example, there was this woman who was really hot ( like a 9.5/10) that worked at a Louis Vuitton store in the mall. I went by and targeted her for a slow multiple-come-back approach. I initially approached her with a smile and a “Hi” and friendly conversation (which works on most mall store employees).

She talked to me but was very cold and not friendly at all. After about three times, I realized she was not the right personality type for that approach and I changed to my deadpan “humor’ with no smile. I caught her out in front of a “fast food” place eating a cheap burrito or something and said in my best deadpan voice, with no smile and an extremely deadpan expression, “So that’s how you spend your time, huh, eating cheap burritos.”

She laughed and laughed and laughed. And the next time I walked into her store she was all over me with conversation. She would practically tell me her life story when I would go into the store. Best of all, she asked me out, after a couple of more visits. She also changed her attitude. I didn’t have to keep up the deadpan stuff. I was able to go back to being cheerful with a smile.

But not all personalities are like that. Some women you have to keep up the deadpan routine forever. (Like the upper middle class housewives, for instance.) In this case, however, she was one of those really hot women who just didn’t trust “smiling” men who approach them. So she had her defenses up but this wasn’t really her personality. Once I got past that point with the deadpan routine, I could put the smile back on and she could be herself.

Like I said, everyone is different. The way you figure it out is with a lot of experience and a lot of keen observation. And if you are short on experience and observation, then get yourself a copy of “Dating To Relating – From A To Z”.

Mr. L. Rx

NOTE: If you would like more in depth and organized information on how to meet, attract, and have a relationship with women consider the book How I Got 700 Dates In One Year, Dating To Relating – From A To Z, or any of the other books by Mr. L. Rx.

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