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  • Last week one of my friends asked a question that I thought was worth discussing. He asked me how to overcome fears that pop up sometimes when we approach women for the first time or even the hundredth time - fears we get even when things are going good. The truth is it is not an easy question to answer as it varies from person to person. There are literally entire books that have been written on that subject alone. However, one of the best techniques I have used to overcome my fears usually involves lowering the gradient. What are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder. If you try to go to the top of the ladder on your first step, it will be impossible and you will fail. If you keep trying it over and over you will start building up a "complex" about failing, and soon not try anymore. If you try to jump up five or six steps on your first try, it will also be scary - not necessarily impossible but scary. Probability is that if you have no experiences jumping that high you will fail too. The right approach is to take the first step and then advance, one step at a time. It is the most comfortable way to climb a ladder. Here are some examples of how I apply that to overcome fears that pop up in approaching women for the first time or one hundredth time. As most guys do, I often go out to approach women in a social setting. This can be especially scary. So when I am approaching a beautiful woman in a social setting, rather than telling her how beautiful she is and how much I am attracted to her (which exposes my fear of being shot down in front of a lot of people and embarrassed) I lower the gradient of approach and simply say, "Hi." If a girl likes you or is interested in you she will find a way to continue the conversation. If she doesn't then I know she is not interested in me and the simple "Hi" just appears that I am friendly, not necessarily even flirting, so I don't feel shot down in front of other people. If I am starting to date a girl and I feel fearful about approaching her on taking the next step of getting intimate with her, I don't ask her, "Do you want to get intimate?" I take a lower gradient and ask her if she wants to relax, get cozy, and just watch TV at my house. If she doesn't want to get intimate she certainly won't want to be alone with me, getting cozy at my house. Or rather than trying to suddenly "kiss her", I will simply hold her hand or give her light touches every now and again to see how responsive she is to my touch. If she likes my touch she will start touching me back to give me the go ahead signal. Sometimes when I am fearful of confronting a woman about making a move, I even use “multiple choice” as a test of gradients. When planning a date and fearful to approach her directly on the subject of coming over to my house, I might say, “Do you want to (a) go to a movie? (b) go out to dinner? (c) meet up with our friends at the party? or (d) stay home and watch TV and cuddle? That way I don’t feel rejected if she doesn’t choose (d) as I didn’t directly suggest that we had to do that. But if she does select (d) I know she is ready to take it to the next level. These are some examples. When you feel uncomfortable and fearful whether approaching a women for the first time or someone you are dating, on a subject matter you are uncomfortable with, just try to think of a lower gradient that isn't as scary and allows you to make forward progress toward your goal. If you do this you will learn how to approach women and how to relate to them very quickly.

    Question: How do I approach Women? Answer:Last week one of my friends asked a question that I thought was worth discussing. He asked me how…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, I actually do alright with women in general. I have no problem approaching, talking to and securing dates with women. However, there is one exception. When a woman is really gorgeous, I fall to pieces and get real insecure and make lots of mistakes. How can I fix this? Answer: That’s a good question. One that I believe a lot of guys have in common. The problem has to do with scarcity. You probably approach and talk to a lot of women from “acceptable” looks to “pretty good looking”. You are comfortable with them and know what to do. But you just don’t meet that many absolutely gorgeous “Tens” and when you do, you want them so bad that you are afraid of messing up and blowing it so you start acting like the average guy does around any woman. When something is scarce it becomes valuable. Gold and other “precious” metals for example are relatively scarce so they become valuable. Beachfront homes, another example, are relatively scarce in any city and will usually be more valuable than a similar home in the heart of the city. It is the same with extremely beautiful women. Women with acceptable looks or a little above average are not that scarce. Pretty women, say an eight on a scale of one to ten, are rare but not that scarce. You meet them now and again. Now a woman that is a nine or ten on this scale, however, you don’t see that kind of woman every day. When I did my seven hundred dates in one year, I only met about 2 women who were a “nine” and no tens at all. So you see “tens” are scarce. (At least my “tens”. I have been accused by friends of having a “higher” rating system than most guys.) So what is the handle? The cure? Well, meeting lots of extremely beautiful women is very helpful, as after a while they won’t be that different from any other women. So, going places where extremely beautiful women hang out or working “publics” like models where “tens” may be more frequent or common than the average population will help. You already know what to do. You just have to get yourself out of your “awestruck” mindset and you will fall into what naturally works for you. Experience with extremely beautiful women will get you there. When I worked these kinds of extremely beautiful women in bars and clubs, at first I was awestruck, then after I learned to close them 100% of the time I got rather bored with them. Now, I wouldn’t even bother working these kinds of women as having had a lot of experience with them I determined that, in general, they weren’t very good lovers. (I don’t mean that all extremely beautiful women are not good lovers, just the insecure types that you find in bars and clubs.) Another tactic that will work is paying attention to personality first and looks second. Now it is okay if you qualify a woman on her looks, but after that qualification you have to immediately pay attention to personality and not her looks. When you realize that there are different personality types and that extremely beautiful women come in all of these different types of personalities, the experience factor will come in to play, as you will likely have more experience with her personality type and won’t be so awestruck by the “scarcity” of her physical beauty. If you learn how to handle the different personality types (as I teach guys to do in “Dating To Relating – From A To Z” ) then you will know how to handle her personality and be comfortable with her no matter how beautiful she is. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, I actually do alright with women in general. I have no problem approaching, talking to and securing dates with women. However,…

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  • Flirtation is an interesting subject indeed. We all do it at one time or another, in one way or another. Yet some of us do it better and more effectively than others. What would be better and more effective flirtation? Well let’s look at the definition: “Playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest.” So any flirtation that was more effectively arousing sexual interest would be better flirtation by this definition. Now the problem with flirtation is there is no one way to flirt. As I have mentioned many, many times in my writings, different people have different personalities. What one person would consider “arousing”, another might consider crude, or stupid or childish. So are there any universal types of behavior that might be effective flirtation? Yes, communication as opposed to no communication. (Notice I said communication – not talking. Communication can be non-verbal.) In other words there has to be a communication in order to flirt. That is a universal attribute of flirtation. Successful or effective flirtation would create “attraction.” So a communication designed to create sexual attraction or interest would be effective flirtation, despite personality differences. Now remember, personalities too can vary widely on what is considered “attractive.” If you read my articles on how to meet women in bars and clubs you will remember that in order to create attraction, one type of personality required a direct confident communication said directly to them, whereas another required the opposite, an indirect communication said in their presence but aimed at another. So it can get complicated. But let’s talk about what works most of the time in normal everyday situations – not bars and clubs. 1) Smile. Definitely a flirt and usually received as such by most people. 2) Look her in the eyes, without flinching and looking away. (Followed by a “smile” is definitely a top flirt.) 3) Talk to her. Find an obvious excuse to talk to her. “Excuse me, do you know what time it is?” Or “Do you know where there is a bookstore around here?” Doesn’t matter what you say. If you do one and two above then approach and talk to her, she will know you are flirting. And it is a better flirt if you just suggest interest. Telling her how hot she is can be an effective flirt for some women, but will blow a lot of really hot women away. Keep it suggestive, you will do better in the long run. 4) Find an excuse to move in close. (Make sure you smell good when you do.) Hold it for a brief moment or two then back away again. Closeness suggests intimacy. Use it sparingly when you can. 5) Find an excuse to touch her lightly now and again. Touch her arm, her elbow, her hand. Don’t be feely, grabby – just a light touch then retreat. Again this is a form of closeness that suggests intimacy. 6) Don’t overstay your welcome. Make your flirts short and sweet. Move in, flirt. Leave and do something else. Come back and flirt again. Leave, come back. Keep this sort of cycle going. This kind of flirtation is best done with people you can see again. This won’t work on a woman walking down the street that you won’t ever see again. That would require a different type of flirt strategy and you would have to get her number or something for it to be successful. 7) Now as you get to know her in the steps above, you can extend your “drop ins” and talk a little. Be real, compliment her personality or her taste in clothes, or non-sexual parts of her body (for example, her eyes or hands). Don’t be blatantly sexual. Most of all listen to what she has to say. Play off of that. Flirtation is all about her – not about you. So don’t start bragging and talking about yourself. Now if you do these things you will create a little sexual excitement on the part of most women. I would say about sixty percent of women would respond to the above in a positive way in a normal situation. (Not a bar or club or walking down the street.) What about the other forty percent? Well that requires about fifteen other strategies. Things like “negative sex talk”, ignoring them, being close and ignoring them, paying attention to another woman, being cocky and funny, “positive sex talk”, being super romantic, talking dirty, being shy, etc. Things I talk about elsewhere….. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: How do I flirt with women? Answer: Flirtation is an interesting subject indeed. We all do it at one time or another, in one…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, I already have a casual intimate relationship with a woman, I met about two months ago. It is not serious. We get together about once a week. Problem is I am beginning to have some feelings for her and think I might really like her. Can I develop a real relationship with her? Or is it too late? How would I go about doing this? Answer: Well, this is unusual. Most of the time, guys are trying to figure out how to develop a relationship with a girl they haven’t been intimate with. Yes, it is possible but it does present some unique challenges. First of all you need to find out where this woman stands. If you guys are having a casual intimate relationship, you need to know if that is something she wants to maintain or if she, like you, is starting to feel different about things. Now if you go about this the wrong way, you can scare her off. So be careful. A lot of times people who are coming out of a divorce or a break up want an intimate relationship but they don’t want commitment or feeling like they are getting close to someone. They are trying to protect themselves from being hurt by not getting close. Of course this will heal in time, but the time factor can take one, two or even three years for some people. If you really like someone and feel they are worth the wait, you can seal the deal by not putting any pressure on them during this time, maintaining the casual relationship and just being there for them when they are ready for something else. Most of the time, these type of things don’t work out because one person is too impatient to wait and puts pressure on the other person who is not ready, so they end up in a spat and a break up. Now, from your question we know nothing about this woman. She could be a career “no commitment” type or recently divorced or one or two years down the road after a break up. So you need to ask a lot of questions in a neutral sort of way, so that you do not play your hand in case she is not ready for your feelings. The best way to maintain neutrality is to not originate questions out of the blue, but to play off of her originations. For example, if she mentions her ex and berates him, you could say, “Sounds like you guys didn’t have a very good relationship.” If she says, “Yeah,” you could come back with something like, “So does that mean you hate all men, or do you think he was just a bully?” If she says, “No, I don’t hate all men, blah, blah, blah,” then she might be more ready for a relationship then if she says “Yeah.” The conversations you will have with her will be very situational so I can’t tell you what to exactly say and ask in this short column, but perhaps you get the idea. What you don’t want to ask are questions about you and your relationship with her. That is not neutral and could get you in trouble if she is not ready for anything serious. So don’t say things like, “How do you feel about our relationship?” or “I am starting to have feelings for you,” etc. until you know if she is ready and can handle this type of topic. If she is not, you just need to keep informed of her general feelings about men and relationships until she is ready to get serious with someone again. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, I already have a casual intimate relationship with a woman, I met about two months ago. It is not serious. We…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, what does it mean when you really don’t like your girlfriend’s friends or she doesn’t like yours, but you both like each other? How do you handle it? Answer: Good question. I think it is something we have all run into at one time or another. I think it goes back to one of the basics that I teach at Dating To Relating which is personality. People come in many different personality types. Not all personality types get along with each other. On top of that, people have a social personality type – a personality that they, in a sense, “put on” because they have been educated that that is the way they should act. Then they have the real personality – the one they are despite what they have been trained to be. Most upsets I see in dating are not because men don’t understand women or women don’t understand men, they are because people don’t understand people. There are more personality differences between a happy man and an angry man, then there are between a happy man and a happy woman. We understand the opposite sex a little better than we think we do. It is people and personality differences that most of us don’t understand. Sometimes we find ourselves hanging out with relatives or people that we grew up with just because we have known them a long time, not because we like them. Or maybe it is because we work with them, or know them from school. Nonetheless, we call them friends and feel obligated to see them and hang out with them even though we don’t particularly like them. A real friend is someone who supports you in your life choices and makes you feel good about yourself in general. Anything less than that and the person is an “acquaintance” not a friend. And of course we have to look out for those few who will “help” you in a time of need, just so they can berate you and make you feel bad about yourself at other times. Who needs that kind of help? So what happens in relationships is sometimes you end up attracted to someone who hangs out with a bunch of people who are not like the person that you are attracted to. The person that you like probably has an inability to pick good friends. Or, on the other hand maybe you are the odd one. Maybe that person has good friends and you are the one that they shouldn’t be hanging with. Or maybe you are the one with a bad choice of friends or maybe you have good friends and have made a bad choice in a girlfriend. There is only one way out of these kinds of situations. You will have to communicate your feelings to your significant other and see where the chips fall. Perhaps they already suspected what you point out but never had the encouragement to disconnect from the “so-called” friends. Or, maybe their friends are much more important to them than you. Right or wrong, it is better to find out where you stand early on in the relationship, rather than waiting for a “blow-up” a few years down the road. Communication is the only way out after you are in a mess. Before that, learning to discern personality types when you meet people is the way to avoid these kind of messes in the first place. Mr. L. RxA special instantly downloadable report to get you to JUMP START your love life. Don't sit around the house wondering when you will ever date again when within hours you can get started meeting and dating 100s of women in the coming year. Mr. L. Rx has done it and still does it, and he will show you HOW! In this concise, downloadable, easy to read and easy to implement report you will learn: -- TWO separate proven TECHNIQUES for generating 100's of dates a year -- TECHNIQUES that are FAST, and SIMPLE to learn, and that you can START implementing them IN A COUPLE OF HOURS from now. That's right in just a few hours from now you can be on your way to generating 100's of dates a year. It is that POWERFUL. So powerful, that I'LL guarantee it. If you try my techniques and they don't work for you. I'll give you your money back NO QUESTIONS ASKED -- TECHNIQUES that don't require you to have any understanding of women at all. You can be shy, UGLY, and a geek and they will work. IN FACT these TECHNIQUES will not only get you 100's of dates, but the sheer experience of going out on 100s of dates will give you a better understanding of women than anything you could ever read in a book--anything that I or any other GURU could ever say to you. -- This REPORT is GUARANTEED to change your love life. That is why I wrote it. There is NO reason for you guys to wait for the release of DATING TO RELATING the book for you guys to start benefitting from my knowledge.

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, what does it mean when you really don’t like your girlfriend’s friends or she doesn’t like yours, but you both like…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, I don’t have trouble approaching women. I am forty years old and have no back off and have never had back off approaching women. However, my closing rate really sucks. On approaches, I usually get at least fifty percent of the women to give me their phone numbers, but after that I usually only get ten percent to return my call and when I go out with women I only get to second base with about one out of twenty. What am I doing wrong? Answer: Well, it doesn’t really sound like women like you very much. It sounds like you get a high percentage of phone numbers because you are probably very aggressive and women are giving you a phone number to make you go away. Guys who use our system run about eighty to ninety percent on each of the points you bring up: Getting phone numbers should be eighty percent of your approaches; eighty percent of the women you call should return your call, and when you go out you should reach second base with at least eighty percent of the women you go out with. If you are not getting these kinds of results then yes, you are definitely doing something wrong. In your case, the numbers suggest you are too aggressive. You probably need to listen more and “aggress” less. A lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that just because a woman talks to them, the woman likes them. It is especially easy to make this mistake when you are aggressive. If you are aggressive and funny, a lot of women will talk to you because you are entertaining. Doesn’t mean they are interested in you as a boyfriend prospect. Other times, women will continue talking to an aggressive guy just to be friendly or nice. I have seen a lot of aggressive guys monopolize a conversation (in other words, do all or most all of the talking) to the point that they don’t see or listen to what is going on. They take the fact that the girl is still there to be a signal that they are doing okay, when in fact the girl is just being nice or considers you entertaining and that is all. Frequently these kinds of guys get lots of phone numbers but no return calls or very few dates. These kinds of guys need to be less aggressive and learn to be a little more mellow. Just say, “Hi” to a girl and then shut up. As you converse with a girl, frequently say things then shut up. Give a girl the chance to say something to keep the conversation going or to walk away if she wants. If she stays and actually “tries” to keep the conversation going – then you know you have someone who is actually interested in you. When you just non-stop talk, entertain, or say rude things to get a reaction, women will stay and talk or listen to you, but it is not for the reasons you think it is, and it is not because they are interested in you romantically. So if you want to improve your percentages to the eighty to ninety percent range the first thing you will have to do is shut up and learn to listen and observe. If the woman is making an effort to keep the conversation going, if she stays and talks to you when you are just listening, then perhaps – just perhaps – she might be actually interested in you. Mr. L. Rx NOTE: If you would like more in depth and organized information on how to meet, attract, and have a relationship with women consider the book How I Got 700 Dates In One Year, Dating To Relating – From A To Z, or any of the other books by Mr. L. Rx.

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, I don’t have trouble approaching women. I am forty years old and have no back off and have never had back…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, a lot of dating gurus advise about using humor to attract women, however, you don’t say much about that. Why is that? Answer: Well, you are right. I do not focus much of my writing on using humor as a technique to meet women. The reason is that humor is one of those “ten percent tools” that a lot of the dating gurus recommend. By “ten percent tools”, I mean techniques that if used broadly, only work on a small percentage of women. The tools that I recommend are technologies that result in an eighty to ninety percent success rate – something that you will never achieve just by being funny. First of all humor changes with personality type. So what one person considers funny, the next person won’t. Even if you were to come up with a successful “humor” approach, to be successful eighty to ninety percent of the time you would have to change your jokes and/or delivery with the personality types you are approaching. I have done this in sales, for example. I have based a sales technique on humor and had success, but still I had to change the delivery of the humor to match the personality type I was addressing. When I was doing door-to-door sales as a kid, I found that even socio-economic types have different humor and had to base my approach on that. Having said that, humor is an obvious advantage for a guy who has the ability to be funny. Just look at some of the dating site profiles of women. Look what they put down as desired in a man. A very large percentage of women will put “funny” or a sense of humor, or some reference to humor. The problem I see for men (besides matching the right kind of humor for the right personality type) is trying to be funny all the time. Just because a woman says she likes humor or “funny.” Doesn’t mean that it should be the only thing you do — as some of the gurus would have you believe. If you had to do just one thing all the time, “listening” to a woman has humor beat hands down. But if you can spice up your listening with a few appropriate humorous comments now and again, it certainly won’t hurt and could just make you that special guy she is looking for. But the reason I don’t focus on training guys to be funny is that it is still just a “ten percent tool” and as such, not worth a lot of attention as a basic strategy. In fact “trying” to be funny all the time will backfire and wreck more approaches than it will help. When you are funny without having all the other basics in place, women will use you for entertainment and you will be relegated, more often than not, into that “friendship” role that most guys dread. And it will work on a few of a certain personality type – hence your ten percent – and that will be it. When you listen to women as your primary focus and respond appropriately in both humorous and non-humorous ways, you can break out of that “ten percent” result and achieve the kind of success ratios we strive for – eighty to ninety percent – all the time. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, a lot of dating gurus advise about using humor to attract women, however, you don’t say much about that. Why is…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, a lot of the Dating Gurus, like David DeAngelo, Mystery, Neil Strauss have techniques that make guys into “bad boys”, I think these techniques are disrespectful to women. Do these kinds of techniques work? Can’t you just be a good guy and get women? Or is it true that “good guys finish last?” Answer: Well, this is a very good question. The truth of the matter is there is no such thing as “women” in the manner that these other gurus talk about it. They talk about women as if they are all the same, when in actuality, there are many different types of women. There are many different personalities among women. The truth is these techniques do work, but they only work on a certain “personality type” of women. When you use these techniques on all women you will have success with a percentage – usually around ten percent – unless you find a way to place yourself in an environment where this “personality type” congregates. So, for example, there is a personality type that will tend to go to bars and clubs on a regular basis. So you might have a higher success rate than ten percent – maybe thirty or forty percent if you use a technique that works on these types in a club environment. Problem is when you are in the bookstore or in class at school, you may find the technique doesn’t work at all or works only one percent of the time. Or if you like a classy, intelligent type of woman, you may find that these types of techniques (which a lot of the gurus teach) don’t work at all. What works is understanding personality types and having a variety of techniques to handle the different personality types. When I worked bars and clubs years ago, I used four distinctly different strategies on the different personality types that I found there. Some of these strategies were the exact opposite of the other strategies. The point is all of these strategies worked, but they all worked on different types of women. If I just used one of these strategies, I would have been only successful on my approach one quarter of the time. But by having four different strategies, I got my success ratio up to ninety percent. The other difficulty is not only the percentage of success; it is the quality of success. For example, say you like the sweet “girl next door” type and the technique you learn only handles the hot man-eater type of girl that you often find in clubs. Then you will be successful, so to speak, but you will not get the type of girl that you want. This is a “quality” definition for failure not a “quantity” definition. Most of these gurus don’t even address quality failure in any other terms than whether she is physically “hot” or not. But the truth of the matter is guys don’t only want a “hot” girl, they want a “hot” girl that has a personality that they get along with. And that, my friends, is what we teach at Dating To Relating. We teach you techniques for different personality types and we teach you how to generate your own situational techniques. That is why we have ninety percent success in approaching women rather than ten percent success. So to answer your question, it is totally possible to get girls by being a “nice guy.” I have been a bad boy and had great success doing so, but personally I got tired of it because I didn’t like the personality type that it attracted. No one personality type has the corner on beauty or intelligence. There are plenty of “hot” girls that like nice guys. In fact, nice guy techniques are the only techniques that I personally use nowadays and I still close ninety percent of my approaches. And so can you. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, a lot of the Dating Gurus, like David DeAngelo, Mystery, Neil Strauss have techniques that make guys into “bad boys”, I…

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  • NOTE: If you would like more in depth and organized information on how to meet, attract, and have a relationship with women consider the book How I Got 700 Dates In One Year, Dating To Relating – From A To Z, or any of the other books by Mr. L. Rx.

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am not interested in getting married or having a girlfriend. Quite honestly I just want a sexual partner. What is…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, this girl I have been dating says she is really attracted to me physically, but she broke up with me because I don’t meet all of her needs. I don’t understand this and she won’t explain it any further. What’s going on? Answer: There are many types of attraction vectors involved in sexual relationships. Especially for women, it is not all about what you look like or sex. For example, sexual attraction can be two-way mutual sex attraction, or a one way physical attraction with another dynamic attraction factor (money, emotion, power, status, political, mental stimulation, etc.) replacing or in addition to physical attraction on the other’s part. What this girl is telling you is that physical attraction is not enough for her to get involved in a long term sexual relationship with you. I don’t know much about your situation but perhaps she is looking for an economic attraction. Some women only get involved with a boyfriend who they are attracted to and who has money enough to take care of them. Some women don’t even care if a man is physically attractive if he has money. We usually call these latter kind of women “gold diggers.” Or it could be she is looking for an emotional attraction in addition to a physical attraction. Emotional attraction can be either one-way or mutual and is usually the most compelling factor in determining relationships for both men and women. (Although men are attracted to women for other factors, usually physical, emotional factors tend to be the deal clinchers.) Emotionally, for example, we will often become attracted to a person who we know is really attracted to us because we know they will be super nice to us and treat us right. Similarly we are often attracted to people who make us feel cool, wanted, desirable, etc. Whether this feeling is generated internally (the hot girl who does absolutely nothing for you but go out and look hot in front of all your friends thereby making you look cool and desirable to others) or externally (the not so hot girl who tells you over and over again how good looking, etc. you are), we all like relating to people who make us feel good about ourselves. Other emotional attraction vectors influencing relationships involve friendship, compatibility, good communication, emotional support, and mental stimulation among others. I don’t have time to go over all of these factors here, but you should realize that it is not all about looks for women. If you want to attempt to rescue the relationship then look into some of these other areas where you may be coming up short and see if you can make any corrections. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, this girl I have been dating says she is really attracted to me physically, but she broke up with me because…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am a recently divorced man, 42 years old. I was married to one woman for 15 years. How do I get back in the swing of things? I haven’t dated in a very long time. Answer: Good question. There are several things you can do to get back into the swing of things. And it starts with observation. Go somewhere where men and women are dating. Watch a few couples. See how they are acting. See how the men dress. Listen to the topics that are being talked about. Listen to whether the women are responding positively or negatively to the men they are with. Observe the women. See what the women you are attracted to respond to and don’t respond to. In the end, if you are a careful observer you can learn what women you are attracted to like and don’t like in men’s behavior. Make sure you notice women’s personality. Notice what the personalities you like respond to. Most importantly go where there are lots of women and start interacting with them on any level you can. You don’t have to hit up on them to interact with them. Interact with them on a safe level. Don’t do anything that will make you get scared and want to run away. Ask them for the time. Ask them for directions. Ask them their opinions on things, but don’t ask them for a date, or to dance if that is going to make you feel rejected if they say no. Go to a night club for example and ask a few women for help. Tell them you are recently divorced and you have no clue on how to meet women and how to act and ask them for their advice. In your spare time, read advice from dating gurus such as myself, but most importantly constantly and continually interact with women. When I was recently divorced, I found that internet and personal ads were a very easy way to meet women. In fact, I went out on 700 dates in one year after I got divorced by using internet and personal ad dating sites. When you meet women in any situation – talk, talk, talk. Ask questions, ask questions, ask questions. Women will help you if you just ask. Don’t make “getting a girl friend” your immediate target. Make “learning about women so you don’t make the same mistakes” your immediate target. I spent a whole year meeting women and asking questions and learning before I settled down with one woman. It was perhaps the best single thing I have ever done. If you do the above things you will gradually not only get back into the swing of things, but after a few months you will become an “old pro.” Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, I am a recently divorced man, 42 years old. I was married to one woman for 15 years. How do I…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, my girlfriend says I am not creating our relationship. I love her and all but I have no clue what she is talking about. Can you help me understand this? Answer: When you first meet a girl and are attracted to her – you are trying to establish a relationship – whether it is just for a fling (sexual fun), ongoing friendship only (companionship and sexual fun) or something more serious – like all of the above plus living together and sharing finances and raising children together. You are hoping she will be attracted to you too, and then that will lead to friendly fun and, in most cases, what you really want and need from a woman – sexual fun. And if this happens, you’ll have a sexual relationship. Now remember, there is no static state in any relationship. Relationships either get better (you are relating more and having more fun or producing more desired products – happiness, contentment, personal goals, children, sex, etc.) or they get worse (you are relating less, seeing each other less, having less fun, having less sex, producing less products together.) So when a woman is talking about creating a relationship, she is talking about making a relationship better – more fun, more products, more togetherness, etc. And when you don’t create a relationship the opposite happens – whether you like it or not – and there will be less fun, less togetherness, less products, etc. So what is creating a relationship? Creating a relationship is doing those things which increase attraction (both physical and/or mental/spiritual), communication, understanding, mutual survival, agreements between you, and the number and or quality of the products you produce together. When you are not creating a relationship the attraction decreases (physical and/or mental/spiritual), the communication worsens, the understanding and mutual survival lessens, the agreements between you lessen and/or are broken, and the number and quality of products you produce together go down. So, let’s translate this into actions you can do. Well, you probably already know how to create a relationship. Most guys do it when they are romancing the girl to get her. They bring her flowers, open the door for her, assure her she looks nice (when she is worried about it), listen to her gossip even though it bores them out of their mind. They go to the mall with her when they really hate shopping. They go to chick movies with her now and again. Get it guys? You know what I am talking about, creating is all those things you do to get the girl! Now the problem is most guys do all kinds of things they don’t like just to get the girl. So, after they get her and feel comfortable with their position, they stop doing all those things that they don’t like. Problem is guys, that is the death toll for the relationship. Whatever you did to get the girl you have to do more of it, more frequently, and in new and better ways to create the relationship and keep her. And if your girl is complaining that you are not creating the relationship any more, I will bet you anything you are not doing the things you did to get her anymore. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, my girlfriend says I am not creating our relationship. I love her and all but I have no clue what she…

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  • Question: Mr. L. Rx, you talk about your advice being a technology rather than a strategy. What is the difference and why is it important at all? Answer: A strategy is detailed instructions on how to do something or how to approach something that if you employ (even without fully understanding it) will work a certain percentage of times. A technology is a full understanding on all the principles of an area so that one can master the area. A technology will generate dozens of strategies each of which works under certain circumstances. Why does anyone need a technology instead of a strategy and who would be the kind of person that would want a technology rather than a strategy? Well, there are several reasons why a person might prefer a technology to a strategy. 1) If you are just the kind of person who wants to master an area, you would prefer a technology to a strategy. 2) If you are tired of the low yield that dating strategies produce and would prefer to close 80-90% of any of the women you meet in any situation rather than 10% of the women that you meet in general circumstances you would prefer a technology to a strategy. (Actually, some strategies – some that I give you in my writings – can yield as much as 80-100% results – if you apply them under certain specific conditions and with certain specific personality types. The problem is these same strategies will not work at all – 0% results – under other conditions and with other personality types- and this is not what most gurus will tell you about their own strategies.) 3) If the strategies that you have been exposed to require you to do and say things that just don’t feet right, that just aren’t you, then you would prefer a technology to a strategy. A technology will allow you to generate your own strategy that works for you that you are completely comfortable with doing. After observing the “Dating Guru” scene for many years and buying many of these products myself to sharpen my own game, I realized that none of these guys had any technology, only strategy. Moreover, when I looked at there results, there statistics were worse than mine. I learned a lot from these typical “dating gurus.” After all, anything anyone has to say on the subject is applicable to certain situations and I find that valuable. I certainly have not done everything and there are certainly many clever guys other than me who have come up with clever strategies for meeting and dating women. So, all of these guys are good guys in my opinion. They are ALL trying to help their fellow man. But there is a problem out there. There are not TECHNOLOGIES only strategies, and that is why I write. Gurus can come up with a strategy that works from trial and error, word of mouth, watching other guys, etc. But a technology of dating and relating is a way to develop many strategies from theory and observation that are applicable across a wide variety of situations and personality types – any situation, any personality type, that you choose. It is a way to adjust and correct with changing times, situations, needs, etc. Most importantly, a technology is a way to get what you want. A strategy sometimes will leave you high and dry in that department. I hope that clarifies it for you. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, you talk about your advice being a technology rather than a strategy. What is the difference and why is it important…

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  • Question: How and where are the best ways and places for a single guy to meet women? Answer: A lot of guys ask me where is the best place to meet girls, or to find dates? The answer is that once you are skilled, it is anywhere, any time, any place. But for those who aren’t quite that skilled and for those who are very particular and are looking for a certain kind of girl, a certain age of girl, a certain type of girl, etc. this question takes on much more importance. I use to think (like a lot of guys do) that finding dates was the hardest thing in the world to do, but after having gone on 700 dates in one year, I now think it is one of the easier things to do. The harder question to answer, I believe, is how do you find the right girl for you? But the question today is how and where to find dates, so the following are some good places to meet women. Clubs and social groups – Now this is probably one of the better ways to meet women. It has a couple of advantages built in. By choosing the right club or group you can pre-qualify a woman on interests and compatibility. Dating Clubs and Dating counselors – I have used dating clubs, dating services, and dating counselors – the services that give you personal hand picked dates as opposed to internet dating sites. Speed Dating – This can be a fairly good way to meet people. It is quick and to the point. Of course, it depends on the membership and who is sponsoring it. But whenever you can meet a lot of people quickly it is a good idea as it is both cost and time effective. Friends – Working your friends and even associates for leads can be very worthwhile. It is free and usually doesn’t take long. Most of the leads I have gotten this way have been superior to internet, classifieds, and dating clubs. Since it is free it is certainly worth giving it a shot. Just tell your friends what you are looking for and ask them if they know anyone who is single and would possibly be interested. Online dating sites – for people on the go and who have a busy life style, Internet dating has certain advantages. The main one being that you can check out tons of people in a short period of time. The quality factor I find to be low with internet dating, however, as most people tend to present their best side by exaggerating or lying about their personality, their age, and their looks. This is especially true for the over 35 years old crowd. Online and print classified and personal ads – Classified ads whether online or not, is equal to or better than online dating sites as a way to meet women. However, again it depends on the service you subscribe to. Social community sites – MySpace, Facebook and all the new community sites also offer a source of free internet dating. You can check out people’s profiles and place classified ads Mr. L. Rx

    Question: How and where are the best ways and places for a single guy to meet women? Answer: A lot of guys ask me where…

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  • Question: I have the worse luck finding women who are good prospects for relationships. I have no trouble meeting women but they all seem to have boyfriends, or they are a little nuts, or something else is wrong. How do you find good prospects for relationships? Answer: Good question. Now most guys naturally do what they think is prospecting by asking: Is she single? Is she cute? Most guys know to find out the answers to those two questions before they waste time and energy on courtship. But that is really not prospecting. It is just sorting out the leads (someone you should to talk to) from those you shouldn’t bother to talk to. Now once you do your basic sort and decide which girls you should talk to, this is where prospecting really begins. How does she feel about relationships? What is she looking for? What kind of relationship is she looking for? What kind of guy is she looking for? What does she expect from a guy in a relationship? Is she affectionate? Does she like to cuddle at night? Does she like sex? How often? Does she want children? How many? Is she smart? How smart? Is she educated? How educated? What kind of career does she want? How important is it to her? What is more important to her family or career? What is more important to her? Her husband or her friends? Her children or her husband? Her mother or her husband? What is her family like? How does she handle her family? Is she still a little girl afraid to stand up to mom, dad, aunt and uncle? Or has she grown up and able to command respect from her elders? There are hundreds of more questions. The list just goes on and on. But in order to figure out if someone is a good prospect for you, you have to ask questions. You can qualify a woman as a prospect in two minutes ( or two dates, or two months ) or waste a lot of time on her by going into your sales pitch just to find out later she wasn’t a prospect after all. (In some cases, that might be 2 or 3 years of dating to find out what you could have found out in two months of intense qualifying in the beginning.) Not only do you qualify when you first meet a woman, as you move along in relationships, you have to continually qualify women especially as you move from level to level of relationship. The girl who is a hot lover, may make a lousy girlfriend. The girl who was an excellent see-you-three-times-a-week girlfriend may make a terrible “roommate” when you finally chose to live together. The girl who was a good “roommate” or living together partner, may make a crummy wife and mother. Every type of relationship has its own set of unique qualifying questions and answers. Every guy has his own unique set of questions and answers for each type of relationship. So you see, when you are 18, “Is she cute?” and “Does she have a boyfriend?” may seem to be the only two questions you need answered. But unless you are extraordinarily lucky, it won’t be enough. And it is NOT qualifying or defining a prospect. It is only defining a lead. Ask a lot of questions. It is the only way you determine if a woman is right for you. Mr. L. Rx

    Question: I have the worse luck finding women who are good prospects for relationships. I have no trouble meeting women but they all seem to…

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  • NOTE: If you would like more in depth and organized information on how to meet, attract, and have a relationship with women consider the book How I Got 700 Dates In One Year, Dating To Relating – From A To Z, or any of the other books by Mr. L. Rx.

    Question: Mr. L. Rx, I have no trouble walking up to women and talking to them, but I never seem to get anywhere. I don’t…

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